Will you still love me?

The man I want to share the rest of my life with responded to one of my poems posted on this blog. It was from January 29, 2009, Will you still love me?

I will share his response (permission granted), but first here is mine again:

Will you still love me
if I fail to say the words you want to hear

Will you still love me
if I don't meet up to your fantasies

Will you still love me
if things don't turn out the way you wanted

Will you still find a way to love me
when you find yourself falling out of love with me

When you say you love me, will you still love me for the rest of your life?

~sol

And now here is my beloved's response:

I will still love you
if you fail to say the words I want to hear
for your truth pierces me and your honesty speaks to my heart

I will still love you
if you don't meet up to 'my' fantasies
for a dream that is shared is worth twice one imagined alone

I will still love you
if things don't turn out the way I wanted
for I know I am but a fallible man
I'd rather navigate this life together to get to where we've planned

I will still find a way to love you
if I find myself falling out of love with you
for what we've got has got good bones. a love planted so firmly in the heart is not so easily uprooted.

When I say I love you, I will still love you for the rest of my life.
Which I hope will end one day before you
so I know not what it's like to live without your love.

~ Uriel


Lucky are we that our souls united! I love this man, Mr. Uriel Gonzalez!

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same"

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies"

the crap line of my life ends now gosh darn it

So as I promised last June in my blog called Mental Toughness, here is the crap line of my life.

Without being dramatic or seeking pity, here's the crap line of my life. Let's start with the BEST day of my life....

Oct. 4, 2005 -> best day of my life - Mathew is born
Jan, 2006 -> my husband of 6 years says he's not happy. Why? he says, "I don't know."
Jun, 2006 -> my husband leaves us and wants a divorce
Oct. 2006 -> the husband who walked out on his family finally has his son sleepover for the first time
Nov. 2006 -> I travel to Hawaii for some needed healing (without Mathew)
Nov. 2006 -> Grand epiphany - "I'm grateful that he left me"
Dec. 2006 -> I discover that the husband has a live-in girlfriend and he finally filed the divorce paperwork (interesting timing)
Feb. 2007 -> my dog, Harley, bites another dog, leading to that dog's death
Mar 2007 -> lost the animal court case, fined for animal biting
June 2007 -> the divorce is finalized, my name is back
Aug 2007 -> the ex-husband tells me his girlfriend is 5 months pregnant
Sept. 2007 -> I vacation to Spain (without Mathew)
Oct. 2007 -> I met a guy, and started falling in love
Nov 2007 -> the ex-husband marries his now 8 month pregnant girlfriend in the courthouse
Dec. 2007 -> my boyfriend moves in with us (i know, i know...it was quick)
Jun. 2008 -> got my first tattoo
Sep. 2008 -> my little brother, Philippe gets married
Sep. 2008 -> my boyfriend leaves us and doesn't look back
Sep. 2008 -> we find out my mother has cancer in her kidney
Nov. 4, 2008 -> my mom is cancer-free!
Jan. 2009 -> tried e-harmony. fail.
Feb. 2009 -> the ex-husband tells me he just bought a 5 bedroom house with a pool and asks to lower child support in the same conversation. Few days later, he asks me to stop communicating with his family
Feb. 2009 -> I have a new boss
Apr 2009 -> I make the hardest decision in my life. Harley is given up for adoption.
Aug 11, 2009 -> worst day of my life - my big brother, Robin passes away
Sept 2009 -> get my second tattoo in memory of my brother Robin
Nov 2009 -> the ex-husband tells me his wife is 8 months pregnant (only cause Mathew figured it out and told me)
Jan 2010 -> tried online dating again. fail.
Feb 2010 -> stopped paying my mortgage - I owe double the value of what my house is worth and want out of this past life.
Mar 2010 -> take Mathew to Canada to see snow
May 2010 -> get served, foreclosure lawsuit on my house (I have a short-sale contract pending)
May 2010 -> take week long vacation to Disney (mostly for me)
June 21, 2010 -> went sky diving for my brothers would be 40th birthday
August 2010 -> buyer for my short sale house withdraws contract
August 11, 2010 -> one year anniversary of my brother's death

Sept. 2010 -> work woes begin
Oct. 2010 -> Bear, our family dog passes away
Nov. 2010 -> Second buyer of my short sale declined meeting the Banks financial numbers.
Dec. 29, 2010 -> Third Buyer of my short sale house withdraws contract

Dec. 30, 2010 -> Visit the happiest place on Earth with Mathew (magic kingdom)

and now...
2011 -> the beginning of a new life line! =)

are you big enough?

I dated.

I loved.

I married.

I mothered.

I divorced.

I dated.

I loved again.

I don't date.

I am a single mom.

In my life lessons, I grew stronger and more independent.

With every passing moment, I wonder if I could let love in again.

I've built a life around me that only needs my two grounded feet.

I know that I (and myself alone) can conquer anything life throws at me.

I've developed a preference to go it alone.

Even as a mother, I am so proud of my son that I don't want to share that parenting responsibility. I'm selfish.

My weakness is my strength.

My downfall is my resolve.

I know I want a life partner, who is my my best friend and my lover.

I don't know that I know how to let love in again.

I just know that I need someone bigger than me.

Are you big enough to be my man?

happy alone

happy alone

don't need another half to make me whole

don't need a prince charming for my happily ever after

don't need to be someone else's trophy to feel good

don't need you to make my dreams come true

don't need a baby daddy

don't need a hero to save me

don't need you to complete me

I'm not saying I don't want to fall in love, cause I would...

right now...

I'm broadcasting my independence

I'm rejoicing in my freedom

I'm living my life, my way

and some day, I will love again, but for right now...

I'm happy alone

Seriously?!

Okay, I need to vent about three of my online dating experiences in just a matter of one week...I find myself repeating these phrases a lot when it comes to my dating life...

Seriously?!

WTF?!

You've got to be fucking kidding me?!

One guy, who I initially ignored since he wasn't really my type decides to email me a second time with these few words: "do you have cute feet?" Now if you didn't interest me before, what makes you think asking a fetish question would peak my interest all of a sudden. Seriously?!

One guy, who I mistakenly gave my number to, thinking he seemed normal online, immediately started by stalk texting me with inappropriate crap and leaving voicemail messages. When I don't reply to his desperate attempts, he asks me if I'm alive? Seriously?! WTF?! If I keep ignoring him, maybe he'll think I'm not. One more text message and I will tell him to stop wasting his time.

One guy, who I end up meeting for drinks, is a lawyer...but only I would end up with probably the only lawyer who was a former police officer AND who used to work with my ex-husband. Seriously?! WTF? You've got to be fucking kidding me?! - for those that don't know, my ex-husband is a police officer and I don't want to discriminate but I'm not interested in dating the "civil servant" types. Even though, those seem to be the only types I attract. This guy however, beyond his clear job occupation flaws, loved to bully the conversation, talk over me, and tell me one cop story after another. Been there, done that, no thanks again!!

FM dating L!

The good thing is I'm in no hurry. I enjoy being single and wouldn't ruin that for just anyone.

Cheers!!

Toxic Sea

I am swimming in a toxic sea full of arrogant, gross, insecure, crazy, weird, narcissistic fish.

Will somebody throw me a lifeline, the water is bleak here!?!

First of all, I was always skeptical and now totally discouraged about the whole idea of online dating. The profiles that are out there are reee-diculous. I have past the point of no return on here...I'm drowning!!!

In the sea of plenty of fish, I see pictures of bare-chested men, arrogant braggers of their travels and boats, overly sensitive guys, uneducated men, married, yes married men too, about me sections longer than my longest blog, corny lines, and desperation leaking everywhere! Is this for real? I mean, seriously, it couldn't be! Oh, but it is...

Let's start with some of the emails I get:

• "how was your weekend with out me?" - are you serious?

• "wow you are gorgeous?" - that's it, you think you can throw me a compliment and I'm yours!

• "hi" - okaaaay, you gotta do a little better than that, especially with that profile of yours.

• "I like what you wrote, I think we can be compatible." - oh really, based on what? you're profile that tells me you love irish bars and prefer big breasts! yeah, that is so not me!

• "should I attempt to drop a line here, or just flat out buy you a tiger...jk...lol" - what does that even mean?

or my favorite one:

• "are you real? are you really on here?" - wow, nothing like starting with insulting me for being single and on an online dating service.

But wait, it gets even better when you read the profiles that these emails come from:

• One profile said that any first date should include handcuffs and oil. - I kid you not!

• One guy outwardly states he has no ambition except for having fun and he has no hobbies except for being sarcastic! - wow, you're a winner!

• Or the many profiles that select "prefer not to say" when asked, Do you want children? Do you drink? do you do drugs? - are you fucking kidding me? how hard is it to answer these questions. Reject!!!

• One profile jokingly stated that one of his interests are to tell children that Santa is a lie! - not funny, just stupid!

• Some other interests I read on profiles: midget tossing, asking bums for spare change, camel toes, xanax, stalking people - I know, I know, the stupidity is endless.

• Or the profiles that make jokes about their occupation, like male belly dancer. - no comment.

and the last one (only cause I just can't do this anymore):

• One profile literally says "enjoying the finer things in life, while laughing at the misfortunate." - for real!?

I wish this was all a big joke or fiction for the sake of entertainment...

****HUGE SIGH****

No wonder I'm still single!!

Will all the normal single guys please stand up?!

oh and by the way, unlimited texting is a necessity for dating in the 21st century, you will get asked out, complimented, thanked, blown off, and even dumped by a text.

Am I?

am I too hopeful to expect the best?

am I too confident that things will go my way?

am I too arrogant to believe I'm worth it?

am I too assuming that I will have another chance?

am I too much of a dreamer that my reality will never live up?

am I too emotional to be understood?

am I too in love with love for love to love me back?

am I too naive to believe I can have it all?

am I too much of an idealist that all I have to offer will all just be wasted away?

OR

am I just too hopeless and crazy?

~sol

Love Always, Love Anyway

Just when you think enough time has gone by, a tiny little voice in the backseat kindly ushers you right back into the past.

Just when you think you're over it, your three year old innocently asks one question after another and you question yourself if you're over it.

Just when you think the bitterness is gone, your little guy chirps about his flight of happy memories and without wanting it, your bitterness comes back full swing.

And even though his memories trigger a sense of anger and resentment, in the end it makes me truly happy! I'm happy to see him revel in great memories. I'm happy to see him question inexplicable things. And It makes me so very happy to know my son can love (not only his mother) unconditionally.

If I I can teach him one thing in his life...I want it to be LOVE! The 'enduring, faithful, limitless, don't want to live without you kinda' LOVE. And if/when it falls apart, that he can still find the courage to LOVE again. I think I'm on the right track!

Before I go, let me leave you with these words attributed to Mother Theresa:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Third Times a Charm

Am I crazy to still dream and hope...
...that love will find me again!
Have I used up my lots in love...
...or will I find love again for a third time?
Do I dare to love a third time?


Before I go, let me leave you with this awesome text from an
Apple commercial:
Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Lonely Loser

Do the two words have to go hand-in-hand?
Is it possible to be a loner and not a loser?

I am probably considered a loner at this juncture in my life. I just don't know that I would be considered a loser. Although the two words sound like they go hand-in-hand. right?

I love being alone...but I think the better phrase is...I love being "on my own!"

You see, if you replace the word 'alone' with 'on my own'...
it sounds less loser-like and more independent,
sounds less depressing and more freedom-esque!

I am happy on my own.
I enjoy being on my own.
I enjoy doing things on my own.
I can/want to do most anything on my own and have no problems with that.

A lot of events in my life brought me to this place.
And I have no regrets with the events that led me here.
I am filled with happiness and love.
I am filled with excitement of my unknown future.
Right now, I can honestly say I prefer to be on my own (alone).
I have a job that affords me the ability to live the lifestyle I enjoy.
I have faithful friends and family that comfort and support me.
I am proud of being a single mom and love it!
I have my son that I can share the deepest love I’ve ever known (or ever will).
My life is complete.

I want to enjoy my life with my son.
I want to be a great mom.
I want to travel as much as I can.
I want to encourage and expose my son to all the things life has to offer.
I want to live happily ever after.
And I can do that alone!

Before I go, let me end with a refrigerator quote:
Explain to me again why I need a man!

The Scarlet Letter

“Life is short, have an affair”
This is an advertising tag line for an online dating service geared towards married people. This is no joke! I took notice when I saw the commercial spot during the Super Bowl stating “when divorce is not an option.” Are you kidding me? I had to watch it again to be sure this was for real! It is unimaginable to conceive a business like this exists…oh, but it does! This company (which I’m intentionally not mentioning) is ultimately condoning and advocating affairs. Yes, affairs have been going on for centuries. But does this mean we should start condoning it and perceiving it as acceptable behavior. Have we no shame? No morals? No family values? Have we lost our minds? Adultery should be shameful, not appealing. Adultery is a sin, not a virtue.

What has the world come to when businesses our profiting off of shamelessly breaking up marriages, destroying homes and families, afflicting pain on innocent children, disregarding the values of marriage, and condoning all of it at the same time??? What about the television affiliates who are allowing this on air? Oh boy...where are we going from here?

What message are we sending to the kids who are watching these commercials or who read the billboards? Do we really want to start spreading the message that marriage is not sacred and that affairs are acceptable? We already live in a society with a divorce rate of over 50%. We are already losing site of decent moral behavior. Should we allow businesses to not only profit off of our humanity, our sins, but also to dictate our morals and values? This is disgraceful!

I’m beyond appalled, I’m sickened and agitated. There are so many different levels of wrong here…I just cannot go on any further! I’m truly heartbroken!

UGH!


Before I go, let me leave you with this:
I still have hope for our future, for our children. I still have faith. I still believe in ‘love conquers all’! All you need is love! Love is all you need!

eDating is not for me

Two dates in one weekend just re-confirmed that I don't like dating, especially online dating. While most people would concur that dating sucks, I think it sucks more than just sucks when it's online!

Meeting people on the premise that you are solely trying to see if you are a harmonious couple is just too much damn pressure. It’s just not normal. Ugh! I found no bubbly excitement in the matching and guided communication process. The personal emails were not much different…more like ‘okay so when do we get on with it and meet.’ And then you meet…hit or miss! I assume it’s a miss more times than not. So the worst part of online dating is the "break-up" talk when there was nothing there to begin with. What are you ending anyway? But you still have to do it! So tell me where in this process is there any fun?! I’ve been told to have fun and enjoy dating…how? I just don’t know how. How do you have fun telling a great man that you don't feel any chemistry there because you lack physical attraction?! How do you enjoy rejecting a decent human being who is just trying to find a partner in life just like I am?! Am I too empathetic? Or maybe I’m too naive? Either way, I’m not sure this is for me. I have 5 more months on this damn thing...and I really dread having to go through this again. There’s got to be a better way.

For every day that goes by, the more I don't WANT a man in my life.

Moral of the story, I love being single…leave me alone!

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Current temperature in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida: 54.5 °F

Today's online news header: Temps may dip below freezing tonight

Are you kidding me? It’s cold enough now…why does it have to get any colder? This morning, I was too embarrassed to put on my winter coat (in fear of looking foolish in South Florida). Apparently, I will be wearing it tomorrow without need for embarrassment. I just read this: “It'll be so cold tomorrow morning that a lot of people will need their credit card. The credit card will be used to scrape the frost off of vehicle windows as most areas of Palm Beach and Broward will see a heavy frost.”

Seriously!? I live in South Florida for a reason…the sun and the warmth!!!!
Bring back the warmth!!

eHarmony

I've only been in one serious relationship since my divorce...and that ended in August 2008. It set me back a little since the ending was very similar to my marriage. It seems I pick men that are willing to walk out and quit when things get hard for them. So my recent seclusion was partly overcoming this heartache. I usually need the alone time in situations like this, to cry, to talk to friends, listen to music (Rachael Yamagata's album "Elephants...Teeth Sinking into Heart" was the best break up album ever...it helped me get through it...big time), and mostly for self-reflection. I've learned a lot of things about myself, about what I want, and just life in general. The only problem is I started finding contentment in being alone. It is a good thing yet a scary thing just the same. I don't want to be alone my whole life...but I do love my own company (that was not intended to be a narcissistic comment, but I am great company).

So with heart healed and extremely guarded, I succumbed to online dating. I was never opposed to it. I just never thought it would come down to it. See, I would prefer meeting people in natural circumstances, chance, fate, or whatever you want to call it.

It was New Year's Eve, home alone, watching movies, and on the computer when I realized, as much as I enjoy a quiet night at home or movies by myself, I don't want this to become who I am (not long term). And the itch to socialize came back. I'm resolving to get back out there and socialize, date, and have a more personal life for ME. And eHarmony was my motivation, my kick in the ass!

So far it seems pretty interesting...to see them match you with people they think you are compatible with. I've been getting some good laughs. I've been communicating with a few, but have yet to meet face-to-face. I have to admit I am little anxious about that part of it. I'm ultimately looking for my life partner, but I want to have fun and take my time getting there. So we'll see. Que sera, sera!

In the meantime, to all my friends…keep sending the invites to all your outings…you might just start seeing me out again.

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
What are your New Year's Resolutions, if any?
What did you learn in 2008 that you will do differently in 2009?

Playing Hard to Get

The theory is that a man is in interested in women who show no interest in them. It must be the ego-challenge or the bet made by a friend or maybe the idea that you can change her. Either way, it seems that playing hard to get works.

My friends tell me that if I am interested in a guy, I should play hard to get. I never understood how or why this theory would work, I still don't. But whether I understand it or not, it does work. I've seen it first hand this past month.

See, a little over a month ago, I "unconsciously on purpose" (remember that word from my blog on 9/26/2006) decided to not have a man in my life (at least for now). It was unconscious because I truly just stopped being interested in dating and hooking up. It was on purpose because I also realized I just needed a break in my life from all the man-drama. Yes, men are just as drama-filled as women can be.

So in this past month, it seems that my new attitude has been attracting men from all around; old ones, new ones, and lingering ones. It's raining men in my life yet I don't want any of them. Ahhh…the irony! The worst part is that a couple of men that I had actual interest in before (who clearly expressed their lack of interest then) are now showing signs of their desires for me.

Amazing…playing hard to get really does work! Too bad I'm not playing hard to get, buddies. I have this I don't care, back off attitude that apparently are being misconstrued as playing hard to get. I've been, as some might say, a Bitch! Yet, that has not stopped the men from coming around. Why do men love bitches?

Now believe me, I am not bragging here…because in reality this is nothing more than a challenge for the men. It's just a game. I'm not stupid enough to think this has anything to do with real interest in me. And even when I come out of this vow of celibacy, it won't be for any of them. The good thing in all of this, I'm weeding out all the bullshit! So playing hard to get might actually be beneficial to my health after all. Hmmm?

So, in conclusion, why is it that a nice girl (let's say: like me) has to play hard to get to get any attention from men?

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
I've just accepted an offer to teach a course for this fall. It's an undergraduate early childhood education course. It's been a couple of years since I've taught a class. But it feels so good to be regaining MY life back!

Romantic Comedies

As defined by Wikipedia, Romantic comedy films are movies with light-hearted, humorous dramatic stories centered on romantic ideals such as a "true love" able to surmount most obstacles or the "perfect couple." Notice the words "romantic ideals." These romantic ideals almost always end with the theme saying "happily ever after." So what are your romantic ideals? I blame romantic comedies for feeding us all this romantic hooey that just doesn't seem to exist.

Romantic Comedies, also known to men as chick flicks, fool the minds and hearts of every little girl (okay and grown women) to not only fantasize but believe that one day their very own happily ever after will come true. RC (romantic comedies abbreviated for the purpose of this blog) rob us of our senses. The stories and actors are disguised to appear realistic when in truth it is just plain fiction conjured up by great storywriters (probably all women who also fantasize the same happily ever after ending). They are not real men and these are not real stories! However, our reality for romance becomes contorted. Our romantic ideals become flooded with the ideals of these RC. We're endlessly dreaming for the Mr. Perfect or Mr. Right. We lose sight of what is realistic and obtain these improbable expectations that no man can fulfill. This perfect envision designed specifically for us hopeless romantics. Only a fool would believe in this fiction. I think it would be safe for me to assume that most women are fools.

Maybe it's false hope or unrealistic hope, but it's hope nonetheless. I have personally fallen for the made-up men in RC. I daydream for Mr. Right to serendipitously walk into my life and make some spectacular gesture/effort. And even when the day comes that your happily ever after ends, you will still find hope in these RC. I know this because my happily ever after ended and I still hope and believe. Maybe no real life story is supposed to end happily ever after. But a girl can DREAM!

I love chick flicks!

Before I go, let me leave you with an all too appropriate poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay" by Robert Frost:
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Top 10 Reasons Why I Feel Old

10. I have arthritis (in all my major joints).
9. I use coupons for grocery shopping.
8. I wake up at the crack of dawn even when I don't have my son.
7. I'm in bed by 10 p.m.
6. I wear bikini or boy short underwear (rarely thongs).
5. I called my neighbor at 3 a.m. to tell them their music was too loud on a Friday night.
4. I was the only sober & dry person at the slip 'n slide house party that lasted till 2 a.m.
3. I was hit on by a 23 year old boy and felt like his mother.
2. On Saturday night, I was hanging out at a bar with a 60 yr. old something couple & had a great time.

And the number one sign:
1. I found my first strand of gray hair.

Before I go, let me leave you with my current predicament:
Where does a divorced-single mom meet a real man?

And NO WAY!!! I'm not signing up on those online dating services. I'm not that desperate yet. (The operative word being yet! LOL)

Labels, what are they good for?

Labels tell you what's inside, what's not included and what to expect. Labels are everywhere: cans, billboards, commercials, purses and clothes, offices, cleaning supplies, computers, mail, pretty much anything you can think of is a label. Labels are used for branding, diagnosing, religion, personal achievements, categorizing ourselves...

...and labels are used in relationships; seeing each other, dating, going out, boyfriend, girlfriend, exclusive, couple, fuck buddies, etc. Some would argue that labels in relationships are overrated or place unnecessary pressure on a relationship. On the contrary, I think labels can help to shed light to your relationship. The label does not have to be the end all. It doesn't create the relationship. The label creates an understanding, a verbal mutual agreement. It indicates a certain level of commitment. Without labels, all you have is a vague/ambiguous relationship. So just call it what it is! (unless of course you fear commitment?)

This does not go without saying that words, labels, promises, and commitments are only as meaningful as someone takes them seriously and abides by them. But isn't that the point of a relationship, trust?

I'm ready for a solid relationship, but still a little hesitant, yet definitely want to be exclusive. I'm in no rush, but when it's there I won't be afraid to call it what it is!

Also, let me just end by saying that I don't agree that all labeling is good. Labels can rob an individual of their uniqueness. Labels can establish a sense of false identity and status. It is only human nature to classify and organize things, even if it is to our own detriment.

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Two things I currently love that don't involve my son: racquetball and dancing! I go dancing every Wednesday night and play racquetball 2-3 days a week. They are both great workouts and I have so much fun. I'm always smiling, laughing, and simply enjoying myself. It's really the only thing I've been doing these days that seem to be just for me! And while doing it, I'm so consumed in the activity that the whole drama of life eludes me (even if it's momentary). I'm passionately addicted to both. Plus, I'm getting really goooood at both!

Why Men Dig Single Moms? - Part 2

In Parents magazine, I found another article on why guys dig single women...and so here are a few more to add from this article:

1. You know how to have a good time. You and your child are always laughing, playing together, and smothering each other with affection. Single guys know they're in for the same fun.

2. You tell it like it is. You don't have time to play games, you won't wait around for a guy to call, and if you're enjoying yourself, he'll be the first to know.

3. You won't suffocate a man. As a solo parent, you're very independent and have a lot going on in your own life. You're not the type of gal who need to rely on a guy for daily entertainment.

4. You don't take dates for granted. Your life is a juggling act as it is - if you've taken the time to get a babysitter and spend an evening with a man, that night is precious.

Before I go to lunch, let me leave you with this:
This morning, when Mathew gave me my morning hug, I could have sworn he said "I love you" to me. He may have just mumbled something else, but it sure had the sounds and tone of an I love you! And being that Valentine's Day is just around the corner, I'm going to take it as an "I love you!"

Mathew speaks so much more now (even though I may be the only one to understand him). I swear he counts to three in French, he says turtle, bubbles, milk, book, plane, moon, fishy, duck, dog, and more. He not only says those words, but he can associate the words to the actual pictures or objects. For example, today in the doctor's office, Mathew said "turtle" while pointing to the soap dispenser. I looked back and there it was a turtle soap dispenser. What a proud moment!!!
I love my baby boy!

Why Men Dig Single Moms?

1. You already know they're strong because they have to handle the responsibilities of single parenthood.

2. There is nothing like a mother. She is a woman that is responsible and focused on life. She knows what she wants out of life and will not sacrifice the happiness of her child for just any man. So, if she decides to date you, feel lucky.

3. Single moms know what they are looking for and are independent. Any man or woman can appreciate dating someone who has confidence in themselves. Face it, great moms are sexy!

4. A single mom isn't just filling time dating - she's had to make a choice to do something for herself while fulfilling the full-time responsibility of being a mom. For a man seeking a real and lasting relationship, this is ideal.

5. They appreciate quality not quantity of time. It isn't always an option to see someone everyday, so making sure the time together is of value is important.

6. Single moms are more open to long-term relationships.

7. They're done being a "party girl" and tend to be more selective and thoughtful in their approach to dating. With single moms, we know our romantic relationship is valued and not just part of a series of meaningless dates or something that stems from the fear of being alone.

8. You get to see how they relate to their children and how they relate to people they love.

9. Single moms enjoy their time out more and can appreciate a simpler evening of just spending time together. People with a fun, positive attitude and outlook are always more fun to date.

10. They realize what it costs to raise a family - and don't require flashy dates. They are impressed more by substance than a big price tag both in dating and in life.

Extra bonus reason: They make great Mac-n-Cheese!

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
I love being a single mom!

Love Theory No. 9

How do you know if he is the person you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with? I was asked this question last night. My friend just went to a wedding and this was a question she wanted to ask me specifically, since at one point I was with the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life and now will not be. So how do you know? Here is my brief answer:

You follow your heart. My theory is that there is more than one person on this earth for you. This person should be your friend first and foremost. And lastly, love is all about timing. This is just my theory. We are compatible to love many of the people we cross paths with. Do both hearts want to unite at the same time?

Due to some recent experiences in my life, I'd like to add to this theory that it's not just about timing when you meet, but timing for the rest of your life. You both have to want it, make changes, and compromise not just at the start but all the way through till the end. Love grows, people change, and life happens. For love to last, it's all about timing. Will both hearts unite at the same time, and continue to grow and change together for the rest of time? Because even after nine years, there is no guarantee that the timing will be right (my case in point). How do you know if it will last? You don't! That's the risk in love. To me it's worth it. And I will risk it again.

That last line reminded me of a song: There's always a song that applies, right?
If I'd've known the way that this would end
If I'd've read the last page first
If I'd've had the strength to walk away
If I'd've known how this would hurt
(Chorus:)
I would've loved you anyway
I'd do it all the same
Not a second I would change
Not a touch that I would trade
Had I known my heart would break
I'd've loved you anyway
~Trisha Yearwood

Before I go, let me leave you with a few quotes about love:
I'll leave my heart wide open. I will love and have no fear. ~ Brad Paisely

'Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly. ~Sam Keen