Wednesday, January 17, 2007


In order for two halves to be whole each half must be whole on its own.

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
this is just this...a quote!
a quote to keep in mind...

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Need for Speed

My soul is ready and all gassed up.
My bodies' desires are in full throttle.
My heart speeds faster than it should.
My mind is always ahead of the track.
My eyes ignore the warning flags:
My mouth needs a set of brakes.
Without these brakes, at this rate of speed,
I am doomed for a crash and burn finish!

Brakes are currently being installed!


Remember, the tortoise wins the race!

Before I go to bed, let me leave you with this:
My only question to myself is:
If I am so happy with myself, why do I need external validation from someone else? Isn't my happiness with myself enough? Am I that hopeless for another person in my life to make me feel absolute? Or is it just a simple desire to be loved? Is there a difference? Does being loved signify a person's totality? Okay so that was more than one question, but all in the same premise. And of course, these questions are rhetorical.

In the end, I always fall back on the "follow your heart" theory, which nullifies everything.

Monday, January 8, 2007


What makes me happy?

First let's define happiness. According to Wikipedia, happiness is an emotional or affective state that is characterized by feelings of enjoyment and satisfaction. This suggests that happiness can derive from anything, anything that makes you feel enjoyment or satisfaction. Therefore the sources for happiness are endless, yet how come there are so many unhappy people.

I would say that we all strive for happiness in life. That is the driving force for living. Whether we strive to be rich, beautiful, famous, married, or successful, it's all for the sake of happiness. We all have different views and beliefs as to what we think will make us happy. Unfortunately, we allow external factors dictate our happiness. We accept other people's thoughts and opinions control our state of mind. Obviously, being happy is subjective. No one can define your happiness but yourself. I believe finding happiness is simple. Life itself equals happiness. We complicate our lives with ideas and fantasies of how it's supposed to be rather than enjoying what it is. Happiness is less about what you want and more about being happy with what you have (damn that was good, that should be a quote). Here's one I stole from Christian's myspace header: It is what it is…it cannot be more than that. Look around you, enjoy what it is. Choose to be happy! Life is good!

So for me, what makes me happy? I find my happiness from the little things in life. Oh and before I continue on my source of happiness, it goes without saying that Mathew and all details pertaining to him emanate an enormous amount of JOY in my life. His laughter, his smile, even his tantrums make me happy. I love to see him eat and fidget with his teeth. It makes me smile to see him play with Harley. His hugs and kisses, even his slaps on my chest make me smile. I can go on with endless accounts of how Mathew makes me happy. So for the sake of this blog, Mathew will be a given. So besides the love of my life, what makes me happy? My first response to my friend was "rainbows, puppies, and sunshine." And while that was a joke, it is true. lol.

So here are some of my resources for happiness (the little things in life)
(in no particular order and in no way a complete list):

Loving and being loved
The Beach
Natural earthly beauties (waterfalls, lakes, birds singing, etc)
Cotton candy at amusement parks
Popcorn at the movie theater
Eating ice cream in the park
Playing in the rain with Harley (my dog)
The sound of children's laughter
The smell of vanilla
Good Wine
Savoring gourmet food
Roller coaster rides
Hockey games
Singing out loud
Reading a good book
My comfy down suede throw
Good conversation
The Moon
Shopping (when I have $$$)
Working out
Long drives
Long walks
I'm pretty simple. I like most everything. I'm willing to discover, try, and experiment new things. I choose to be happy in life. That's not to say things don't make me sad, cry, depressed, or hurt, but my overall perspective in life is positive, hopeful, and happy! I'm the girl that makes lemonades when life hands her lemons.

So what makes you happy?

Before I go, let me leave you with a few quotes I just found about happiness:

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. ~ Frederick Keonig

The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be. ~ Marcel Pagnol

Some pursue happiness - others create it. ~unknown

Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them. ~unknown

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections. ~unknown

Friday, January 5, 2007

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes with cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

~From The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

This invitation "is a declaration of intent, a map into the longing of the soul, the desire to live passionately, face-to-face with ourselves and skin-to-skin with the world around us, to settle for nothing less than what is real."

Do you accept this invitation? I do and I have. I read this while I was in Hawaii. This book was part of the reason for my positive personal transformation.

I posted this for a few friends that I feel could use these thought provoking, life altering, inspirational words (you know who you guys are). If you're open to self-reflecting and living more truthfully, than you should read this book. Let me know.

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
"I ain't settlin' for anything less than everything."

~words from Sugarland's new song: Settlin'

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Glowing Moon

I saw last night's full moon this morning at 6 am. It was still dark outside. As I stared up at the moon, I admired the enormous halo glow it radiated. It was so beautiful. And as always, I started thinking...

Isn't the moon made up of rocks and dirt? So how does the moon glow? Why was it shining so bright? The circumference of the glow was burning like fire waves of white. Amazing! Beautiful! The sun is a star and produces almost all of Earth's energy. Yet the moon does nothing for Earth. It's just a rock in the sky. Yet, this massive ball was beaming down on us this morning. It revealed a sense of energy and massive force. I was in awe! (btw, I do know the scientific answer to why the moon glows, but in the moment it just seemed so miraculous and phenomenal).

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
I put my watch back on (refer to previous blog: "Are you a Control Freak?" August 17, 2006). It's been 6 months without one on and I loved it. I've gained a lot of new perspective without it. But at the gym yesterday morning, I realized I needed my watch again. So I placed it back on this morning. It was kind of weird seeing the watch on without my wedding ring. I've only known this watch with my ring. Weird, huh? To New beginnings! And even though it's back on, I won't have a hard time letting go of the time. I'll be able to take vacations and enjoy moments in life without the controlling constraints of my watch.

Stay tuned for an upcoming blog about Happiness. I was asked recently what makes me Happy. I'd like to dig deeper into that one. Give me some time to arrange my thoughts in word. And again, thanks to all my friends who read my blogs!

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake

I went to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch back on Thursday, December 21st. I ordered a piece of Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake to go. It was intended to be eaten in the luxuries of my own home. To be savored with every bite. To feel like I was in heaven for a moment in time. But I forgot to bring it home from work. Friday, December 22nd, forgot again. And well today is my first day back at work since then. And there it is sitting in my fridge. Still delectably good looking, just not edible anymore. A piece of heaven gone forever! Divine chocolate wasted, lost, never to be treasured orally. Que maladie? What a heartbreak?

Before I go eat my lunch (sans dessert), let me leave you with this exciting news:
I did it! I am now a member at the University Center Gym. I will start first thing tomorrow morning. I'm so excited. Just the idea of starting back to the gym is making me feel better. In the last month, I have been plagued with poor health, exhaustion, no energy, loss of appetite and an all around drained mental health. I know the gym will be the answer to all these troubles. So I can't wait to get started. I'll be back on track in no time.


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