i have a dream: it's a quiet revolution

i am a dreamer. an utterly, hopeless dreamer. the kind that literally imagines all the people sharing all the world and the world living as one. yup, that kind of dreamer. i know, i must be naive or stupid. yet, i'm still hopeful for a day like that. although, lately the more informed i become about this world and this country specifically, the dimmer my hope gets. i get so frustrated, i cry, i rant on and on, and i drive my fiancee crazy with my ideas and opinions and dreams. i find myself asking almost everyday, what can i do, how can i make a difference, can i make a change in this world in the right direction. i am trying to be the change i want to see in this world, little by little. but it is so damn hard. this system we live in is so corrupt and money driven, it is just pure exploitation.

so what do we do
bring down the unjust system.
how do we do it?
we have a quiet revolution!

all over the media (if you look hard enough), there are uprisings, riots, protests and violence all over the world. in turkey, brazil, syria, parts of europe and now egypt. i'm not talking about this though.

i'm talking about a peaceful, spiritual, quiet revolution.
what the hell is that you ask?
for one thing, it's better for your soul.
but it starts with the need to rid this society of big corporations and big pharmaceutical companies. for the sake of this blog, let's call them the "evil empire." their interests do not lie with serving us or with healing us, they are only interested in greed and power. the evil empire make us sick and help keep us sick. they are taking away our earth's resources and then selling it to us as if its something we don't have rights to. they control our food, our medicine, our government, our laws, our way of life. they created a life of dependency. we live in this perpetual cycle, a fucking hamster wheel. this society is not normal, this society is corrupt and broken. as a nation we are circling the drain. so we all agree, we need to bring down the evil empire. good.
now let's talk about why they are in power. we buy the products they manufacture. we buy and support the agriculture that kills our earth and our bodies. we are the ones consuming things we don't need. we rely to heavily on their greed. we rely on their created conveniences. we rely on quick and easy. and as a result, we are succumbed to unhealthy and unsafe products and laws that only serve certain interests against us. the rich get richer, the poor get poorer and the middle are stuck in the middle.

to me, the irony behind all this is that in actuality, we are the one's in control. we feed the evil empire. we keep running in our fucking hamster wheel. it's time to stop running and start living. this is where the quiet revolution comes in to play. it's in our way of life. so i say, we take back what is rightfully ours. we take back the power that is in our own hands. without violence, without war. without even protesting. we change our way of life.

this quiet revolution i'm referring to has been talked about and discussed in other articles and online media outlets. it's already being practiced in some parts of the world. it's changing the system from within yourself. we need to find a more humanitarian way of life. we start by questioning everything we learned. we doubt the authenticity of where we learned it. allow ourselves to accept new ideas, new ways of life (or the old ways of life). we have the power to stop feeding the evil empire and to start feeding ourselves. we need to stop lining their pockets with our hard earned money. it is about becoming more self-sufficient, self-reliant. we need to live a more sustainable life. we stop buying their products. we buy organic and local. we make home-made products. we use earth's resources for our needs. we help thy neighbors. if the evil empire stops being profitable, they will stop having "control" over the government and us. we have the power.

ultimately, the foundation of this quiet revolution can only be built on human compassion. it is imperative for the survival of this fight, to find the compassion in our hearts we were all born with. compassion is the key to this revolution. we need to be more neighborly. 

this blog started with a dream. i envision one day living in a community, where i know all my neighbors. we all have gardens and barter each others crops. each house has different vegetables and fruits and we all share the land and the food. we help each other with gardening tips and care for each others gardens while away. our neighbors and i would also share and barter our many different skill sets; mechanics, handy man, doctors, seamstress, lawyers and so forth. we would all use each others services to help one another, no money exchanges, just a simple bartering system. our compassion for each other, our neighborly love will make us thrive! and best of all, we would limit the money we put in the hands of the evil empire. a simple dream for a dreamer like me.

can you see what i see? am i crazy dreamer to believe this quiet revolution will save us from the evil empire and save this earth we live on. i know our souls will thank us and mother nature will embrace us. 

do you feel the power in your hands? do you want to bring down the evil empire? then join me in this quiet revolution. become informed, spread the message. let's all help one another. let's make this dream come true. i am inspired today as we mark the 50th anniversary of MLK's speech to make my dream come true. if he can inspire the masses to make such a remarkable difference in this world, we all can do the same. let's be the change we wish to see in the world. let's start now.

my dream starts with a garden. i hope to shine the light brighter on me, my children, and the future of this world.

i have a dream. it's a dream of a quiet revolution. i have a dream of a world where we all live as one.



side note: while writing this, i had a song in my head and it fits perfectly, actually i was changing the words of the song with the words in this blog. lol. it was fun.

Revolution, by the Beatles

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

Don't you know it's gonna be all right?

All right, all right

equal human rights for all

...no, we are not all trayvon martin. i am not trayvon martin. i am a white, jewish-born mother living in cooper city, florida. i don't get pulled over by police for random searches. i don't get treated like a punk who will steal while shopping in a store. i am not a threat to anyone. and i don't think i will ever be followed in the streets at dark for being a suspicious character. but i don't have to be trayvon martin to empathize with him and his family. i don't have to be trayvon martin or have darker skin to know that racism killed him (and countless others). i don't know what it will take to change this country we live in, but i do know we need change. i fear the future for my children. we live in a world where this is acceptable and that is unacceptable to me. i am not nor will i ever be trayvon martin, but i stand up for him and all my fellow brothers and sisters on this earth. for i support equal human rights for all.

not guilty

not guilty, but not innocent
we have guilty people walking free
innocent people walking in heaven too soon

today,
i could be the mother watching the murderer of my son walk free
a child who did nothing wrong that day
it was not the wrong time and wrong place for him
yet one man's wrong actions towards him
and today that man has been given freedom
even if he stole a child's freedom (for no reason)

today,
justice does not seem to be fair
where is the common sense
i am sick to my stomach

today, 

the world doesn't make sense

i am heartbroken

the tears keep rolling

today,
i think of my boys
my innocent boys
i fear this world will swallow them up

today, is a sad day for everyone's freedom.
this is not the greatest country in the world
freedom, liberty, and justice - not for all

i am discouraged
i am losing hope
i can't stop crying
help me understand


**********
let me end with a quote from miami gardens mayor oliver gilbert: "Let us honor Trayvon by working together to build a world that never allows life to be lost to ignorance, indifference, or idiocy."

may there be peace on earth for all sooner rather than later
RIP Trayvon Martin

Conversation with a 7-year old boy

My son goes to the Jewish Community Center (JCC) for summer camp and after-school programs. The JCC enriches him with the traditions and religious beliefs of the Jews (among many other non-religious things). I think it's important for him to know where part of his family came from. So I'm really happy that he is learning so much about the culture and beliefs of the Jews, my family's heritage. But I also think it's extremely important to question everything. And well, Mathew surely does.

So today, after I picked him up from the JCC, we had another one of those conversations that I want to document for the books.

He asks me: "Why do Jewish and Christian people have so many rules? Why can't they be free, not trapped in a cage or stuck by rules. It's not fair." Verbatim.

I smile, and explain to him that each person has a choice. And by choosing a certain religion and its rules, they are free because they have made a choice. I gave him the example of my sister-in-law, his aunt and explained her choices were of her own free will. She is not trapped in a cage in her view. Have you thought of it that way? Mathew said no.

I continued to elaborate to him that you yourself have made a choice by thinking these rules trap you in a cage and therefore you are free for making that choice.

When I asked him why does he feel that way about the rules. He compared the religion rules to being like slaves in a cage. He believes the rules are so conforming that they make him feel trapped, like a slave. Wow! I am not making this up people.

Of course, being the balanced, non-persuasive parent (that I try really hard to be): I told him he had the right to feel that way, but he should ALWAYS respect what other people believe even if you don't agree. Everyone has the right to their own opinion, beliefs, and feelings. I emphasized that you cannot take these things away from people, nor can anyone take them away from you.

What I wanted to say: I agree with your sentiments 100%.

I'm so proud of my son for thinking on his own, for engaging in these thoughts and ideas and nurturing them into his own beliefs (not pressured or coerced by anyone, including me).

Again, my son continues to amaze me!



To close:
I understand this blog might get some people upset, especially some family members. I urge those people who get upset or offended by this to remember the lesson I tried to teach my 7-year old son today: we each have the right to our opinions, feelings, and thoughts, even if they don't coincide with yours. You are free to share your thoughts, but I will state upfront I do not welcome rude or condescending comments. Thank you for understanding that I am trying to raise my son to think for himself and to choose for himself. I'd like to think I'm on the right track!

i couldn't really tell

i couldn't really tell

the birds sing and chirp
and sing marvelous songs,
but i'm sure they said something
but i couldn't really tell

the bears growl and groan
and hibernate for the winter
but i'm sure they said something,
but i couldn't really tell

snakes slither and hiss
and climb trees,
but i'm positive they said something,
but i couldn't really tell

~the end
poem by my 7 year old son, Mathew

to me, this poem is amazing. maybe i'm biased. but i don't care. i love it.
i am so happy that all those nights of reading shel silverstein has inspired him.
i'm such a proud mama!

baby daddy

my advice to all the mothers-yet-to-be:

don't worry about finding the perfect man or the man of your dreams.
worry more about finding the perfect father for your child or the dad of your dreams for your child.

Imagine this:
That moment when you see your ex for the first time after a break up. Knots in your stomach, sweaty palms, heart surging...what do you say? do you say hi or pretend you never saw him? do you say hi and act with no care in the world? With each encounter, the ex slowly fades away and the knots loosen up, the palms cool off, and the heart beats calmer. Before you know it, he's just a blip in your life map.  an ex is just an ex.

NOW Imagine this:
That same moment above; over and over and over again....for the life of your child. No matter the congeniality of the break-up...you still get the knots, sweat and surge for each, expected visit from your baby daddy. And you ask yourself: how did you ever end up with that guy? What were you thinking when you married him? How could you make a baby with that guy? Really? Seriously? Ewwww?!?!

dear mothers-yet-to-be:
please choose your baby daddy wisely
"an ex is just an ex, but a baby daddy is for life" - my quote

i urge you to ask yourself: is this the man i want to be as my ex AND my baby daddy? you know, would he be the ex husband that is an exceptional parent nonetheless? this is an important question to ask when dating.

Seek a perfect father and dad of your dreams for your child.
Your child and your future ex-self will thank you!

from personal experience,
a single mother (but not for long. cause i met the perfect father, the dad of my dreams for my child)

i'm surrounded by idiots

work is the only place that makes me question my perception of reality. i understand we all have different perceptions of reality. it's normal, it's healthy. but for the most part, we understand and realize our perceptions can be skewed. reality is skewed by experiences, emotions, and/or personalities. or is reality just that, perceptions?

for me, at work, i constantly question my perceptions. am i the only one that sees the things i see? am i the only one that feels the things i feel? is it just me? i'm clearly not going to write the details about my job on a public blog post. but what i can say is that my work environment makes me question myself...AND those that surround me. i feel so alone at work.

so to make myself feel better, i have purchased a button for my desk. the button is very much like the "easy button" from staples. except this button says in scar's voice from the lion king "i'm surrounded by idiots."

maybe it's not perceptions, it's just the people. or maybe my reality just sucks and i'm the idiot.

either way, i'm going to embrace my perception: "i''m surrounded by idiots"
and that i'm a true genius...
as it is said by jonathan swift:

when a true genius appears in the world,

you may know him by the sign, that the dunces

are all in confederacy against him

life is beautiful

life is beautiful.

I believe in it's ugliest hour, beauty still exists.

for every act of terror,
there are more deeds of kindness

for every act of war,
there are more feats of compassion

through all the chaos and madness,

humanity still prevails

through the destruction and wreckage,

nature still shines on

through the dark clouds and bloody trails,

compassion and kindness exists in plenty

and through it all, you name it,

love supersedes evil

to me, the most beautiful thing in life is love

love overpowers hate. love empowers us. love sees us through.

love is amazing. love sets us free.

so when you find yourself question life, existence, evil and/or this crazy fucked up world we live in... remember life is beautiful. life is beautiful in all the simple things around us and hidden in all the ugly things we endure. cause through it all, and in the end, sunsets still rise, birds still chirp, flowers keep on blooming, trees are growing, ocean waves keep rolling on...people rise together, love blooms every day, lives flourish and thrive, and humanity keeps rolling on. so stop, take note of it. revel in it every chance you get. life is beautiful in every corner of this earth.

with love, we are invincible. 

all we need is love. love is all we need.

and never forget:

life is beautiful.

Well, hello there...

so, yeah i've been a stranger in the blogosphere for almost two years. i suck. and i hope my two blog fans don't hate me. are you both still there? i'm not proud of my disappearance. all i have are lame excuses, like no time, children, and work. but whatever...excuses are for lame-o's.

i had lunch with a very dear friend and soul sister, camile! she brought back to my attention my blogs; how she loved my blogs and how i inspired her to blog herself. plugging her blog here. while sitting there and attempting to explain to her out loud "my excuses" for not blogging, it made me just cringe. it was pathetic really. i mean how am i supposed to get a writing career if i don't write. how can i complain about my job, the one that is a means to an end, if i'm not even trying to do what i love?! so here i am...trying to get back into it, not for the career goal (although, that would be totally awesome), but to take all the things that spin in my head and lay them all out for my (2 fan based) blog world to read, laugh, and be inspired. i might back track to some older ideas in my head; about parenting, living life to the fullest, and mostly just spewing all the crap in my head. so here goes it...

so for today, i'll just fill you in on a few things that have happened while i've been away:

• september 2011 
• went to california for the first time. i hugged thousand year old trees, slept in a tent, drank lots of wine, and met my boyfriends family
• november 2, 2011
• my first niece was born. lilianne robin azoulay. she is the daughter i'll never have.
• june 2012 
• went to vegas for the first time. we stayed in the paris hotel, won $85 in caesar's palace, molested statues, went to the grand canyon, walked the skywalk and the hoover dam bridge
• june 23, 2012 
• shot a fully automatic m-16 rifle in celebration of robin's birthday. enough said.
• august 7, 2012 
• i got a new tattoo. a big hamsa on my left side ribs. hurt like a motherfucker
• october 2012 
• i voted early. i voted obama. 
• december 1, 2012
• moved into a new place with my boyfriend and his 2 wonderful boys
• december 2012 
• i had a breast cancer scare. i have breast calcifications (that were biopsied) and four nodules that need to be monitored for the next two years. fuck cancer
• january, 2013 
• went horseback riding for the first time. sore ass.
• january 28, 2013
• purchased an ibanez artwood guitar. youtube lessons. finger tip callouses. another checkmark on my bucket list.
• february 10, 2013 
• my boyfriend propsed to me. i am now engaged to my soul mate. 

...and today, i am still planning a wedding, raising three amazing boys, managing my time poorly, dealing with chronic neck problems, frustrated with people, inconsistently working out, devouring chocolate daily (no seriously, every day!), falling asleep early, cursing like a fucking trucker, misplacing my patience, and most importantly loving on the four men in my life.

i'd like to close with a quote from my son:
"i moustache you a question. but i'll shave it for later"

    i'm a tree-hugger!