Friday, September 29, 2006

Delayed Gratification

Delayed gratification is a person's ability to wait for things they want. Those who lack this ability are in need of instant gratification. How good are you at delaying gratification? Or do you need instant satisfaction? Do you suffer from poor impulse control? Does it make you a better person if you can delay gratification? Apparently, the answer is yes. In reading about delayed gratification, I came across this popular marshmallow experiment that concludes if you can wait for the reward you will be more successful in life. Delayed gratification is a necessary trait for life success.

My argument:
But if you are good at delaying gratification could that just mean you are afraid to go after what you want, afraid to be successful? If you decide to delay a life's passion, will you ever have the chance to do it? Life may just get in the way. Don't deny what you want, go for it! Clearly, delayed gratification is necessary and respectable. However, let's indulge in life more and take action for immediate gratification. Enjoy life!

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
I'm not particularly good at delayed gratification, but I can be if need be.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

University Center

So there's this new building where I work. It's a 110,000 square foot facility called the University Center. This is the new home of the Recreational Complex, also known as the RecPlex. Inside you will find a two-story rock climbing wall, two basketball gym courts, racquetball courts, heated outdoor pool, tennis courts, 100 cardio machines, 90 weight machines, saunas, and locker rooms. If you only knew what we had there as athletes 10 years ago…yuk! I'm so jealous that this facility was not around while I was a student athlete.

I initially was boycotting this place, not even going in to look at it, since they are charging Faculty and Staff monthly dues to use this facility. What a crock!?! We work at the University, yet they want to take more money out of our paycheck so we can use this facility. Ridiculous! Basically, they need us to pay off the $75 million building. Out of sheer curiosity, I took a tour of the place. WOW!!! Impressive! I haven't been to the gym in close to 2 years... that's the longest I've ever gone without working out EVER in my LIFE. I hate it. I need to go back. So I caved! I will be signing up probably as soon as I get back from Hawaii (if not sooner). I will drop Mathew off to school, go workout, shower and head into work. I need this for so many reasons: to get back into cardiovascular shape, solidify my mushy (yet thin) body, to eat right and healthy, to possibly meet new people (although I'm not keen on socializing at the gym, yet being newly single after 9 years, I gotta meet people somewhere), and most importantly feeling good everyday. I can't wait.

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
SEX is also something I need: it's good for cardiovascular, solidifying, eating, health, meeting other people, and feeling good. So maybe I can sign up for a sex surrogate or friends with benefits. Neh! I know what I want, I just can't have it right now!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

This is Killing Me

This is killing me slowly
Our silence must be broken
My mind is playing tricks on me
How can we let this happen?

Are you missing me
Like I am missing you
Can't we leave it all behind
close the gap between us

Let's melt together
And share our love
We know it's right
What are we so afraid of?


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Unconsciously On Purpose

I used this phrase today when writing to a friend. I found it uniquely clever. I realized I was doing something unconsciously, but knowingly at the same time. Make sense? Here: I didn't want to do it, but I did intentionally because it's my way of life. See, I believe we all have patterns or ways we handle life, love, relationships, family, work, etc. We interpret things the way we want to, understand them based on our perceptions (refer to a previous blog re: perceptions). Sometimes when we are self-reflective, we can see that our perceptions are off base, wrong, or just plain unhealthy to our way of living. So we work on adjusting these perceptions. This adjustment is not overnight work…it's a working progress. It's a process of unwinding the memories and experiences of the past and rewriting your new perceptions of them. This is not easy. If we are not self-reflective (or at least seeing a shrink), then these perceptions never change and become more enforced with every encounter or relationship. And we start to believe it's the only way of life. Thus, making every future life situation a vicious cycle of the same patterns you breed. To break the cycle of unhealthy patterns, look within and try to understand where the perceptions started from; was it a bad experience with a boss, burned by a boyfriend/girlfriend, or disappointment by a family member, whatever the case may be, you have to do a lot of soul searching to determine the original cause of your pattern. Break down that cause and rewrite history for your new promising future. It takes lots of practice and failing many times before you might get it right. You have to want this change to be effective. And you most certainly have to understand the reason and cause behind every pattern. I may have lost many of you at this point if not sooner, but those that are still following…do you have any patterns in your life that you would like changed? For example, here is one of my patterns I just discovered:

I unconsciously on purpose impel men to like me so that I feel needed and loved. Rather I should allow the "right" man to find me and come after (chase) me, automatically making me feel needed and loved. So rather than altering things in my life and trying to control situations in order to fill my needs, I need to allow the right situations to happen naturally so that the needs are fulfilled in a flourishing way.

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Do understand that your perceptions are not wrong, their just your own. But realize that your perceptions will be different from the world around you. Understanding, consideration, and appreciation of others' perceptions will make for healthy relationships.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Dating Rules - F*ck 'em!

So I've been out of the dating world for 9 years and I've heard that there are rules now. Maybe there were always rules, I just never followed them. Let me share the few rules I've heard about lately, which I have already broken.

1) 3 day phone call rule – I was told that after meeting someone or after a first date, there are 3 days needed before making the phone call. Too early, you look desperate. Too late, well you'll lose their interest. So 3 days it is. I broke this rule! After meeting a guy at a club, I called 5 days later and within 6 hours of the phone call we met up for drinks. So much for this rule.

2) Don't talk about your ex – This is an obvious rule and shouldn't really be labeled a rule as much as just common sense. When asked about it, just say as little as possible. However, I must say this rule is hard considering that any question asked about me in the last nine years will inevitably involve my ex somehow. This rule is intended for those people who talk about their ex excessively. Otherwise, it's only natural to talk about it when certain topics come up...just keep it limited.

3) Always keep a guy waiting, never show up first – This is a problem for me, since I show up to everything early or on time. I hate, HATE waiting for people, so why should I make a man wait. It's just a stupid rule for women who think they are holier than thou.

4) Let the man pay – I agree with this rule. Unfortunately, it has been corrupted by our modern day feminists. Don't get me wrong, there are situations that would constitute a splitting of the bill. I am both old fashioned with a hint of modern. I make the offer to pay my half of the bill (and am always willing to pay my half). But let's just say, you can tell a lot by a man by how he responds to your offer (not that he is required to pay every time).

5) Never be available - This can be applied two ways. One: by phone. Don't pick up the phone when he calls, let him leave you a message. Two: for planning a date. Don't be available on the day he chooses and then suggest to him your available date. Here is another rule for the holier than thou attitude. Bleh!

To me when playing with rules, you are just playing games. And when playing games, there is usually one winner and always a loser. I would suggest to stop viewing dating as a game. 'Cause it's not a game. Dating is about meeting new and interesting people. It's figuring out more about yourself; your likes, your dislikes, your tolerance levels, and your needs and wants. It should be about finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you just want to have fun, just be upfront about it. If you want to call, call. If you want to go out, go out. If you want to be early, be early. Damn! Just do whatever you feel is right. Follow your instincts and heart, not the rules of the game. For love is not a game.

Before I go, let me leave you with another thought about dating:
Now even though I don't believe in rules for dating, there are dating etiquettes such as, don't date when you are not single, show up with clean hygiene and look your best, don't flaunt money, and one more example before I go: don't impress with lies. These are not rules, just simple courtesies for each other during the course of dating.

To all my single friends out there, good luck and have fun dating!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Is it time to quit?

I know, I know! I have not been blogging that much lately. Am I out of topics or do I just have writer's block? Is it time to quit?

The one dilemma is the recent growth of family members on myspace, now I can't talk about them. HA - who am I kidding, it won't stop me! And then, there's always the topic of Mathew. I can write about him everyday, he does something everyday worth talking about. For example, today he said the word "ball," he gave me the best kiss ever, and repeatedly says Mama (which I am not sick of yet). But does my audience really want to hear about Mathew all the time? Okay, so I will promise to work on better blog topics. I might even delve into the psyche of Nancy…scary, huh? It's deeper than anyone can possibly imagine.

Before I go, let's start with one of my favorite deep thoughts. It comes from a poem written by Edgar Allen Poe:
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

And yes, the Dolphins finally win one! (1-2)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Mathew is my world!

I just realized I haven't posted a blog all week. I have been consumed in my world…of just Mathew and me. In case you didn't know, Mathew is my world! And for the first time, this weekend my world will be gone, I will be all alone, no Mathew. His father is finally taking him for a weekend (picking him up Friday and dropping him off Sunday morning). I am taking full advantage of this weekend; to sleep in, clean the house, do some bills, go to the beach and definitely party at night! Friday night I'm clubbing. Don't know how to do that (it's been quite some time, so I'm taking an experienced woman with me). I have my outfit all picked out (hot mama will be in the house), I intend to dance like no one is watching, laugh out loud, and meet new people. It should be a good time. But in reality, I will be missing my world. My life lately is just work, work, work and Mathew, Mathew, Mathew. Oh yea and Hawaii!!! Hawaii is actually on my mind all the time...the anticipation is keeping me thrilled and alive. I just can't wait! This past weekend, I made some bikini purchases. I'm ready to go; now I just have to wait 1 month and 18 days! It will not go by fast enough until it does!

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Children learn what they live.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
~ By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D

Friday, September 8, 2006

NFL Season Opener

So Football season has officially started...
And so have my tears!

Dolphins 17
Steelers 28

Put this game in the L column...for losers!

Current Season Record: Miami Dolphins 0-1

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
"I'm such a baby, yeah, the Dolphins make me cry."
Hootie and the Blowfish

Wednesday, September 6, 2006

Round Up

Going dancing tonight, finally!
It's been so long. I'm so excited.
Yes it is honky-tonk, two-stepping, and line dancing.
Don't knock it till you try it or at least check it out.
For all the guys: the ladies out there on the dance floor - it's just hot, hot, hot!!! For all the ladies, there's nothing sexier than a man in a cowboy hat who can dance - yummy! Just beautiful scenery!

My knees are already killing me and I haven't even put on my dancing shoes yet. It's the rainy weather  The rain aches all the joints in my body, mostly my knees. Damn, tennis! Nothing a few beers and 2 pain relievers won't adjust. I hate taking pain relievers, but tonight they will be a necessity. I wouldn't take them if my knees weren't in real pain. I'm turning 30 in a month and yet my joints feel they belong to an 80 year old lady.

Watch out, Round up - Nancy will be in the house tonight: tiny top with jeans, belt buckle, and my cowboy boots! Can I get a Yeehaw?
I'm crazy! I know!

Before I go and get back to work, let me leave you with this quote:
"Long distance running is particularly good training in perseverance." a Mao Zedong quote

But kills the knees in the process - lol.

Friday, September 1, 2006


So this morning, I fell down the stairs! Landed on my knee (peeled off some skin), hit my thigh on the corner of a frame, and then finally landed on my ass cheek. I was in pain and I wanted to cry. But all I could think of was "That's going to leave a mark!" I just laughed, walked it off, and iced it, and then went back to doing what I was trying to do (getting Mathew his morning bottle of milk). That's what I get for not breastfeeding him anymore. Haha!

This is not my only incident in this new house, oh no there's more:
- peeled skin off of my finger from the garage door lock
- fingers got caught in the side door because it swings shut automatically
- Slammed my lower back up against the dining room table (still have the bruise and mark to show for it)
- Shins got bruised real bad from the bed frame
I'm sure there is more that I just don't even remember. This is so typical of me. I walk into walls, my shoulder bangs into doorways, my thighs find the corners of tables, and my shins find small furniture. I'm a klutz! And I find it funny! I can laugh at myself.

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Isn't it amazing how we all have completely different memories of the same exact event? We all have different interpretations of reality. We filter our reality by our own experiences, values, and expectations. I believe the best way to understand other people is to understand that each of us perceives events in our lives differently. Recognize the power of perception!

I wear rose-tinted glasses to filter my reality! How about you?


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