Monday, September 25, 2006

Dating Rules - F*ck 'em!

So I've been out of the dating world for 9 years and I've heard that there are rules now. Maybe there were always rules, I just never followed them. Let me share the few rules I've heard about lately, which I have already broken.

1) 3 day phone call rule – I was told that after meeting someone or after a first date, there are 3 days needed before making the phone call. Too early, you look desperate. Too late, well you'll lose their interest. So 3 days it is. I broke this rule! After meeting a guy at a club, I called 5 days later and within 6 hours of the phone call we met up for drinks. So much for this rule.

2) Don't talk about your ex – This is an obvious rule and shouldn't really be labeled a rule as much as just common sense. When asked about it, just say as little as possible. However, I must say this rule is hard considering that any question asked about me in the last nine years will inevitably involve my ex somehow. This rule is intended for those people who talk about their ex excessively. Otherwise, it's only natural to talk about it when certain topics come up...just keep it limited.

3) Always keep a guy waiting, never show up first – This is a problem for me, since I show up to everything early or on time. I hate, HATE waiting for people, so why should I make a man wait. It's just a stupid rule for women who think they are holier than thou.

4) Let the man pay – I agree with this rule. Unfortunately, it has been corrupted by our modern day feminists. Don't get me wrong, there are situations that would constitute a splitting of the bill. I am both old fashioned with a hint of modern. I make the offer to pay my half of the bill (and am always willing to pay my half). But let's just say, you can tell a lot by a man by how he responds to your offer (not that he is required to pay every time).

5) Never be available - This can be applied two ways. One: by phone. Don't pick up the phone when he calls, let him leave you a message. Two: for planning a date. Don't be available on the day he chooses and then suggest to him your available date. Here is another rule for the holier than thou attitude. Bleh!

To me when playing with rules, you are just playing games. And when playing games, there is usually one winner and always a loser. I would suggest to stop viewing dating as a game. 'Cause it's not a game. Dating is about meeting new and interesting people. It's figuring out more about yourself; your likes, your dislikes, your tolerance levels, and your needs and wants. It should be about finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you just want to have fun, just be upfront about it. If you want to call, call. If you want to go out, go out. If you want to be early, be early. Damn! Just do whatever you feel is right. Follow your instincts and heart, not the rules of the game. For love is not a game.

Before I go, let me leave you with another thought about dating:
Now even though I don't believe in rules for dating, there are dating etiquettes such as, don't date when you are not single, show up with clean hygiene and look your best, don't flaunt money, and one more example before I go: don't impress with lies. These are not rules, just simple courtesies for each other during the course of dating.

To all my single friends out there, good luck and have fun dating!

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