I used this phrase today when writing to a friend. I found it uniquely clever. I realized I was doing something unconsciously, but knowingly at the same time. Make sense? Here: I didn't want to do it, but I did intentionally because it's my way of life. See, I believe we all have patterns or ways we handle life, love, relationships, family, work, etc. We interpret things the way we want to, understand them based on our perceptions (refer to a previous blog re: perceptions). Sometimes when we are self-reflective, we can see that our perceptions are off base, wrong, or just plain unhealthy to our way of living. So we work on adjusting these perceptions. This adjustment is not overnight work…it's a working progress. It's a process of unwinding the memories and experiences of the past and rewriting your new perceptions of them. This is not easy. If we are not self-reflective (or at least seeing a shrink), then these perceptions never change and become more enforced with every encounter or relationship. And we start to believe it's the only way of life. Thus, making every future life situation a vicious cycle of the same patterns you breed. To break the cycle of unhealthy patterns, look within and try to understand where the perceptions started from; was it a bad experience with a boss, burned by a boyfriend/girlfriend, or disappointment by a family member, whatever the case may be, you have to do a lot of soul searching to determine the original cause of your pattern. Break down that cause and rewrite history for your new promising future. It takes lots of practice and failing many times before you might get it right. You have to want this change to be effective. And you most certainly have to understand the reason and cause behind every pattern. I may have lost many of you at this point if not sooner, but those that are still following…do you have any patterns in your life that you would like changed? For example, here is one of my patterns I just discovered:
I unconsciously on purpose impel men to like me so that I feel needed and loved. Rather I should allow the "right" man to find me and come after (chase) me, automatically making me feel needed and loved. So rather than altering things in my life and trying to control situations in order to fill my needs, I need to allow the right situations to happen naturally so that the needs are fulfilled in a flourishing way.
Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Do understand that your perceptions are not wrong, their just your own. But realize that your perceptions will be different from the world around you. Understanding, consideration, and appreciation of others' perceptions will make for healthy relationships.