Friday, July 31, 2009

i am a minimalist

I am a minimalist.

And it all began with the divorce. Out goes the husband and so did a part of me (in a good way). But to understand this new me, you really have to grasp the concept of the old me too. I used to keep everything, stock up on everything, and horde everything! What was once the pack rat and keep-sake sentimentalist is no longer. I turned into a minimalist!

Once the dust settled and I got my life-bearings back, I started to get rid of stuff, I mean lots of stuff. It was cleansing and cathartic. I threw out more than several bags of just pictures, as well as books, travel momentum's, letters, cards, notes, dried flowers, post-its, gifts, ornaments, magnets, matches, corks, the list goes on and on. I donated sheets, blankets, towels, clothes, furniture, books, kitchenware, pantry items, tools, home decor, and 'this' list goes on too. I have sold furniture and unused new items on craigslist. I minimized everything you can imagine in my life. The release was so cleansing that I inadvertently let go of my squirrel instinct.

My home may not be dust and dirt free, but I can say it is clutter free. I grocery shop on a need basis. I do not buy in bulk (no more costco for me). I do not overfill my pantry. I hate wasting food or seeing food perish. I purchase paper goods and cleaning supplies only after I run out. I don't need to add clutter in my garage with supplies not in use. My goal is to fit my car inside the barely squeezable one-car garage...and I'm almost there. I throw out birthday cards and holiday cards after maybe a week of hanging it up...of course, if it has sentimental comments, I might just keep it in the one and only box I have left of sentimental memories. You really have to earn that space. I take digital pictures of all of Mathew's artwork and only keep a few favorites of the year. I wait to use the last drop of my shampoos, conditioner, lotion, gels, nail polish, make-up and such before buying more. So my bathroom is clutter free and sample free. Even Mathew's toys get donated. I ask him during my donation sprees, to pick toys that he'd like to donate to kids that are not as fortunate as him. He picks the toys he wants to donate and is happy to share them without regrets. He has even donated without prompting. I donate our clothes. We both have a scarce closet. I even have a scarce shoe collection...yes I do! And to conclude, but probably not complete the list, I am a minimalist even in my office. I am known for the most organized and efficient office in the department. I have very little paper files, I have digitized my office clutter. I know where everything is and everything can be found on my hard drives.

Anyhoot, three years (plus) later and I am still trashing, donating, and minimalizing. What can I say, I live a minimalist lifestyle. Minimalism is a style that is characterized by extreme spareness and simplicity. I'm not sure if this minimalist lifestyle is a compliment or something to aspire to, but I appreciate and love this lifestyle. Keep it simple stupid!

One thing to note: Don't mistake my minimalism for cheapness or plainness or even compulsiveness. I love to splurge on what matters to me (and Mathew). Mathew and I travel. Mathew has toys galore. We go out for dinners, disney parks, and shows. My home walls are all painted in colors (only white wall is ceiling). The walls are filled with picture frames, paintings, clocks, and Mathew's art work (see photo below). My home has flowers, magnets, candles, and decor. My kitchen has unnecessary appliances and fun gadgets. My bedroom does too (heehee). I have collections and boxes of photos. You get the idea...right?

I guess I was just posting this since I'm going through another purging spree. Although, to balance my lifestyle, I will go on a shopping spree for a new wardrobe. :)

Before I go, let me leave you with a quote and a picture:
"Simplicity means the achievement of maximum effect with minimum means." Albert Einstein

Mathew's cork board of artwork:
(click image to enlarge)


Monday, July 27, 2009

the rendezvous

unexpectedly sweet
amazingly easy
loving affection
unforgettable harmony
impressionable occasion

still spellbound by the rendezvous
...even if for just a moment
...even if the only moment



Sunday, July 26, 2009

Am I?

am I too hopeful to expect the best?

am I too confident that things will go my way?

am I too arrogant to believe I'm worth it?

am I too assuming that I will have another chance?

am I too much of a dreamer that my reality will never live up?

am I too emotional to be understood?

am I too in love with love for love to love me back?

am I too naive to believe I can have it all?

am I too much of an idealist that all I have to offer will all just be wasted away?


am I just too hopeless and crazy?


Saturday, July 25, 2009

Will Power

Why don't I have it?
Why can't I sustain it?
How hard is it really?
Where did it go?

All I have left are excuses and a firm grasp of procrastination.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Iced Café Mocha

I had my first "ever" Iced Coffee. I know, where have I been all these years?!

It was a hot summer July day in New York City. I was out walking, window shopping, site seeing, and just enjoying the solitude. It was a long day in the heat and I was not about to take a nap and miss precious hours in NYC. I turned to the idea of my trusty method of cuban coffee or espresso. It always works like a charm. However, the thought of a hot coffee was not appealing to me in any way. After passing my millionth Starbucks, I decided to walk in and attempt to find an iced coffee with the benefits of espresso shots and a satisfying and refreshing coolness. So after talking to the wonderful server, who helped me figure out what I was looking for, I ordered an Iced Café Mocha, light on the whip cream. YUMMY!!! It was delicious! So now I'm officially hooked. I had two more that weekend. To my Starbuck addicted friends...I understand!

So here I am in sunny Florida, working late in my office tonight. I knew just what I Iced Café Mocha. And yes, there is a Starbucks on campus. So I take a stroll to the Starbucks. My mind is swirling on the idea of cold, refreshing espresso, mocha syrup, whipped cream...mmmm. I am lusting for this drink. I make the corner...aaaaand the Starbucks is closed due to short summer hours...Noooo!!! I need my fix! How am I supposed to make it through my day? So now, I wish I was in NYC with the million Starbucks, with two on every block (no joke). Que Sadness! * big heavy sigh*

So, I settle back into my office (sweating from the trek, UGH) and decide to fight through my day sans espresso, sans my new caffeine fix: Iced Café Mocha. An hour of annoying craving deprivation, I decided to book an appointment for one of my favorite necessary indulgences...a therapeutic massage. Luckily, an appointment was available…ahhh! *sigh of relief*

I'm still craving my Iced Café Mocha though!!!


My Heart is Happy

"You make my heart happy, Mama!"

This is the latest and greatest quote I heard from my little man. I heard it for the first time yesterday walking along the aisles of Publix. He even used his little hands to form a heart and placed it on his heart. He couldn't recall where he learned this phrase when I asked, but I just found out that it's from Gym class with Ms. Cindy. Ms. Cindy tells the kids that exercise makes their hearts happy. She even uses the hand forming heart too! So, how brilliant is my kid to take this statement and apply it in a bigger and greater context!

You are the bestest mom I ever had
I love you to the moon and back
I love you to infinity and beyond
I love your hair
I need another hug
Mama, I love you

These are just a few more of my favorite Mathew quotes...


Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Had to share this...I read it somewhere online...

Doubt is the greatest gift, - it's the space between two certainties.

Any change on its way from one place of stability to the next one, passes through a period of doubt. Your old perspective has to disintegrate, and doubt comes in for a visit - even if only for a moment, before the new perspective takes root. Doubt is your greatest gift, because from doubt you can go anywhere.

Before I go, let me just say:
The memories of Harley are still vivid and real. You are in our dreams and in the deepest parts of our hearts. The tears are still flowing. My heart still aches in pain from that day. I miss you Harley and hope you forgave me. One day I hope to forgive myself too!

We'll never let you part...
For you're always in our hearts...


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I'm parched

It’s been a dry 10 months…my longest dry spell since I was 18 years old. And I’m parched!

I keep telling myself I’m not interested in the casual deed anymore. I’m interested in a deep, emotional connection. Well duh, no wonder I’m parched! And yes, I do use my battery operated toys. And while they do the job, they don’t satisfy quite the way a real, warm body can. Yet, I seem to think I need more than just a real warm body, I need a real warm body with emotion and attachments. OMG…am I really becoming “that” woman…complicated, needy? Help me!

What once was a sweet, no string attached event now seems to be a complicated event with emotions (and non-existent too, I might add). So, at this point the blog can carry on about all the psychological reasons I’m avoiding relations and men, but let’s not go there for the sake of the short-attention span readers.

If given the opportunity, would I take the no string act? Would I quench my thirst on a meaningless, fleeting moment to only be longing for more? Would I buy a cheap, knock off purse to hold me off until I can get the real one? It’s quite possible, especially if the beverage is irresistible and the knock off looked really good!

I’m thirsty for some action, but I’m truly craving for so much more!

Before I go, let me leave you with a warning:
Don’t offer me any drinks or knock-offs! This blog is not intended to receive offers nor should any reader exploit my cravings and current state of weakness. I will see right through you!


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