My Last Tattoo

Tattoos decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. So let's just say I'm decorating my soul one more time...and this should be my last.

I love tattoos! They are artistic, beautiful, soulful, and intriguing (at least most of the time). When I see someone with a tattoo, I'm immediately transfixed. I want to see it up close and just simply admire it. I want to know the story behind the tattoo.

Then there are women with sleeves that have always fascinated me. There's just something about it, je ne sais pas quoi! I've been saying for many years that I would love to get a full arm sleeve, but I didn't have the balls to do so. Somewhere this year, I found some "pelotas grandes" cause I'm working on my next tattoo and it's starting to look a lot like a quarter sleeve. It will incorporate the already existing tattoo on my inside wrist and it will wrap around and go up on the forearm. I'm really excited and nervous at the same time. The idea has developed over the last year and I've been waiting for it to completely form in my mind. And now it has. I won't give away the entire idea...but think moroccan style henna-inspired tattoo! Now, I need Jose Santiago (tattoo artist and 'ole time high school friend) to design what's inside my head. See you next week Jose!

I'm not one to place too much interest in what people think of me. Yet, I do wonder how this tattoo will change my life. Let's be honest, you know it will...

I thinks me crazy! and I love it!

i am a minimalist

I am a minimalist.

And it all began with the divorce. Out goes the husband and so did a part of me (in a good way). But to understand this new me, you really have to grasp the concept of the old me too. I used to keep everything, stock up on everything, and horde everything! What was once the pack rat and keep-sake sentimentalist is no longer. I turned into a minimalist!

Once the dust settled and I got my life-bearings back, I started to get rid of stuff, I mean lots of stuff. It was cleansing and cathartic. I threw out more than several bags of just pictures, as well as books, travel momentum's, letters, cards, notes, dried flowers, post-its, gifts, ornaments, magnets, matches, corks, the list goes on and on. I donated sheets, blankets, towels, clothes, furniture, books, kitchenware, pantry items, tools, home decor, and 'this' list goes on too. I have sold furniture and unused new items on craigslist. I minimized everything you can imagine in my life. The release was so cleansing that I inadvertently let go of my squirrel instinct.

My home may not be dust and dirt free, but I can say it is clutter free. I grocery shop on a need basis. I do not buy in bulk (no more costco for me). I do not overfill my pantry. I hate wasting food or seeing food perish. I purchase paper goods and cleaning supplies only after I run out. I don't need to add clutter in my garage with supplies not in use. My goal is to fit my car inside the barely squeezable one-car garage...and I'm almost there. I throw out birthday cards and holiday cards after maybe a week of hanging it up...of course, if it has sentimental comments, I might just keep it in the one and only box I have left of sentimental memories. You really have to earn that space. I take digital pictures of all of Mathew's artwork and only keep a few favorites of the year. I wait to use the last drop of my shampoos, conditioner, lotion, gels, nail polish, make-up and such before buying more. So my bathroom is clutter free and sample free. Even Mathew's toys get donated. I ask him during my donation sprees, to pick toys that he'd like to donate to kids that are not as fortunate as him. He picks the toys he wants to donate and is happy to share them without regrets. He has even donated without prompting. I donate our clothes. We both have a scarce closet. I even have a scarce shoe collection...yes I do! And to conclude, but probably not complete the list, I am a minimalist even in my office. I am known for the most organized and efficient office in the department. I have very little paper files, I have digitized my office clutter. I know where everything is and everything can be found on my hard drives.

Anyhoot, three years (plus) later and I am still trashing, donating, and minimalizing. What can I say, I live a minimalist lifestyle. Minimalism is a style that is characterized by extreme spareness and simplicity. I'm not sure if this minimalist lifestyle is a compliment or something to aspire to, but I appreciate and love this lifestyle. Keep it simple stupid!

One thing to note: Don't mistake my minimalism for cheapness or plainness or even compulsiveness. I love to splurge on what matters to me (and Mathew). Mathew and I travel. Mathew has toys galore. We go out for dinners, disney parks, and shows. My home walls are all painted in colors (only white wall is ceiling). The walls are filled with picture frames, paintings, clocks, and Mathew's art work (see photo below). My home has flowers, magnets, candles, and decor. My kitchen has unnecessary appliances and fun gadgets. My bedroom does too (heehee). I have collections and boxes of photos. You get the idea...right?

I guess I was just posting this since I'm going through another purging spree. Although, to balance my lifestyle, I will go on a shopping spree for a new wardrobe. :)

Before I go, let me leave you with a quote and a picture:
"Simplicity means the achievement of maximum effect with minimum means." Albert Einstein


Mathew's cork board of artwork:
(click image to enlarge)


~sol

Portrait

My first sketch of Mathew...

My First Tattoo

inner left wrist
my design

Sol - my middle name
Mathew - the light and energy source of my life and soul
Infinity - my son's love is the only love I know that is infinite -
Our souls infinitely intertwined
Henna color - to represent my Moroccan heritage

My First Piece

Acrylic paint

My Forms of Expression

I recognize I haven’t written a blog in many months. Some might say it’s due to the new man in my life…I might have to agree. But in addition to that, my work life has changed in the last 6 months. And not to mention, my home life in the last three months! You can say that a lot has changed in my life (and all for the way better). So when things change (which they always do), priorities change.

When my priorities change, so do my forms of expression. I’ve seen in the course of my life, I’ve always been in need of expression, such as blogging, drawing, poetry, dancing, baking, etc. My life stimulates my forms of expression.

Blogs and poetry have been a strong part of my expression over the last 2 years. My mind still runs rampant with millions of things to write…it doesn’t ever stop. Unfortunately, writing is not my best form of expression for me right now. It’s taken me a few days just to write this one. I will not stop writing blogs and poetry; you will just definitely be seeing less of them. I will not stop dancing completely; I will just probably not go so frequently.

My life is overflowing with new emotions and feelings. This life is igniting new inspirations and dreams. My expression is taking on a different form. I am currently caught up and setting myself free in the form of drawing!

I’ve been turning to my sketchbook lately. I’ve sketched some beautiful mom and son drawings. I’m working on a tattoo drawing for my boyfriend. I added more sketches to my series of tree drawings. I just feel so inspired. And I have this itching desire to experiment with oil and acrylic paints. This desire has long lived with me, but fear has hindered my attempts. With the new me and my encouraging boyfriend, I will be making the plunge into paints. I just need to figure out what I want to paint.

Cheers to my new forms of expression!

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
I am the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m at a secure, confident, self-fulfilled happiness. I’m so proud of myself! I have a beautiful son who fills my life with complete joy and love.
I love my life!!

Madrid, Spain

I don't know where to begin or how to say it all, especially in a pretty format, or some poetic stanza. It's pretty much all just a jumbo puzzle in my head. Can you say confetti!? So here are my scatterbrain thoughts in writing (in no particular order, with no poetic grace) but the people asked for it, so here it is:

Most used word to describe trip: Amazing!

Madrid is so old and beautiful (bet you never thought those two adjectives can be used in the same sentence)

Barajas International Airport…very cool looking, frosty glass walkways, wide open spaces, clean, simple, yes, I know I'm odd like that!

The Metro was clean and used by us very much, except when we needed it most; after 1:30am (when it closes down).

The whole city was clean and very green, environmentally green.

I found the eclectic mixture of architecture throughout Madrid highly appealing.

Favorite painting: La Guernica by Picasso.

Favorite museum - Reina Sofia Museum
This museum housed the most emotional driven painting I've ever seen – La Geurnica. I don't know how long I was there for, standing alone and later with G. I started crying at one point. I felt the sorrow and agony of the grieving mother with her dead child in her arms. I hope to never feel that agony for even a tiny moment in my life time. I cried thinking of the innocent, defenseless lives lost in a senseless, barbaric war. Naturally, my thoughts led to the current war in Iraq (70 years later). The same innocence lost, the same barbaric war. Children left without mothers or fathers, parents left without daughters or sons. And for what? A painting darkened in the shadow of death, devastation, and desperation, still found powerful, hidden symbols and images of hope and light. It's hard to think that one painting alone can evoke so many thoughts, emotions, ideas, and meanings. If ever there were a painting, this one is it!

I was an unruly museum visitor – I was told to 1) keep my voice down 2) don't touch the glass 3) stay away from the roped off areas 4) standing too close to La Guernica and 5) remove your book from the pillar that's holding a statue (G- that last one was your fault).

El Escorial: awe-inspiring monastery and palace, el Greco paintings, striking inlay wood doors, with a roman influence basilica. The basilica was thought provoking and truly amazing. Hard to look at a basilica now without comparing it to Rome's St. Peter's Basilica…but it reminded me of it. Also, a good day of bonding time with Ali!

Toledo: a quaint town with heavy Arabian architectural influence. Found a stray cat too! Lots of stairs, uphill and more uphill on cobblestone roads! Common phrase of that day: "when in doubt, go down." Walked for miles and miles and miles and miles! I met some very hot fireman in Toledo (incomparably hot to the US fireman), worth all the extra walking.

Freaked out Ali Moment – kissed her on the lips! Muah!

Plaza Mayor – reminded me of Piazza San Marco in Venice, with all the cute terrace bars and restaurants.

Funny, embarrassing, and disgraceful moments – molesting statues

Laughed so hard, peed in my pants moment – in Segovia when taking a picture of Carrie in a small hole…LMAO! You just had to be there!

Madrid Favorite: the food
Pimientos de piquillo (stuffed with meat) or seafood too!
Chorizo, queoso, croquettas…oh the list goes on!!!
Tortillas – homemade by Ali – awesome!
Chocolate con churros – yummy!
Cervez con limon
Oh and I ate ham during the observance of Yom Kippur! Ha!

Favorite park: Parque del Buen Retiro – trees, trees, trees, I love trees! Miles and miles of green, a crystal palace, one smelly, large lake, and the only public monument sculpted after the fallen angel, Lucifer.

Worst attribute: SMOKE! *cough*

A couple days into the trip I started feeling sicky-poo, which I contribute to the smoky atmosphere!

Painful Memory – walking into one end of a metal kitchen towel holder bar! That left a mark!

Puerta del Sol (need I say more)

La Noche en Blanco: a part of the Europe-wide White Night series of cultural city festivals - enjoyed William Kentridge's animated artwork. Finding a cab that night was misery!

The roman aqueduct of Segovia - built in stone without mortar - a brilliant masterpiece of Roman engineering still intact.

Best compliment I ever received was told to me in the room of tapestries in El Escorial by one of my greatest friends, Ali-baba!!! I'm not quoting perfectly here, but the gist coming from a friend who wasn't sure she wanted kids of her own "you're the reason I want to become a mom. I see you and Mathew together and what a great job you are doing and how it comes so naturally to you. I want to be a mom just like you!" Damn that was the best ever!!

El Rastro – flea market hell

Palacio Real was so palatial! Lol

Perfect hair weather (minus the drizzly day in Segovia)

My faith in "good" men existing has been restored. Unfortunately, the population of Drama Kings are accumulating faster.

Heartbreaking moments – making phone calls to Mathew…oh how I missed him so much. Next time, he's coming with!

Common phrases used during this trip: "Vale!" "No, no, no, mama, no!" "Seriously, is that necessary!?" "Not so much" "Hola" "Claro que si" "Y tui"

Don't ask what that last one is, I made it up! During this trip, I was mixing all the languages up, between English, French, Italian, and Spanish, I started having my own language!

What I didn't get to do: the city of Salamanca, El Prado Museum, and Templo de Debod (sadness). I guess I'll have to go back!

I hope these tidbits of useless knowledge about my trip helped paint an image of my moments in Madrid, Spain. If you want to know more, call me. If you have any questions, let me know. I for surely have left a lot out…intentionally and otherwise!

All these scraps of thoughts have pictures to accompany. Coming soon!

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Can you believe it…Mathew will be turning two next week? What am I doing for his birthday you ask? Why, I'm taking him to Disney World (either Magic Kingdom or Sea World, still undecided). We'll be going in November, during slow month, cooler weather, and time enough to recuperate financially.

Artwork

On Friday, when I picked up Mathew from daycare, I saw a little painting on a paper plate on top of his bag. I asked if this was Mathew's (since I never expected artwork from him yet). They said yes. No words can describe how moved I was. I don't think you can understand this indescribable feeling if you have not gone through it yourself. This is Mathew's 1st piece of artwork. It's a paper plate artfully splattered with a mixture of bingo dot markers. It's is pretty cool. I love it!

On another note about Friday: it was my last day of breastfeeding. I'm not depressed or sad, the time has just come. One main reason, was my raw, tortured nipple. He didn't bite, he just sucked so hard, it got wounded...lol. Among other reasons, I just felt the time was right. 11 months, I did good!

Before I go to write my next blog, let me leave you with a Dr. Seuss quote (just finished reading "One fish two fish redfish blue fish" to Mathew):
from there to here,
from here to there,
funny things
are everywhere.