Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Robin (tomorrow)

Dearest Robin,

Always, for as long as I can,
I will look at this world for both of us.
I will soar with the birds,
I will dare and love,
I will laugh in the sun,
I will dream big
I will wish upon the stars for both of us.
I will pray to the heavens for both of us.
You will live on through me.
I will live for you.

And as promised on your 40th Birthday, I will celebrate your life.
I will celebrate you.

This year, on your birthday,
We will swim with the dolphins,
glide with the sting rays,
admire the fishes of the sea,
feed the birds and be one with nature.

Thank you for giving my life new adventures and present day living
...not a day goes by you are not with me in my thoughts, my decisions, my actions, or in my heart. I miss you and know I will see you again some day.

Happy Birthday Robin!
See you in the waters, the sky, and heavens above...
see you in all that is nature, mother earth.
Maybe that's why nature is company enough for me.

I love you!
your baby sis,

P.S. Robin's birthday is tomorrow, June 23rd.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

exit, stage right!

my mind
like a hamster in a cage
running in circles
with no end in sight
full of questions
piled high
losing balance
things out of my control
exhausted from running in place
ranting and babbling
worried and stressful
panic swirling around
suffocating me
morbid thoughts seeping in
silent screams pouring out
stomach twisting into hollow nausea

drowning in my troubles of futile concern

exit, stage right!


Friday, June 17, 2011

my bubble

i do proclaim i'm in love

i've walked around hopeful
but planning for a single life
i've dreamed of love again
but found peace without it
i've believed in a happy ending
creating it all on my own

in my declaration of loving the single life,
i sheltered us in a protective bubble
floating in the clouds
happy and shielded
no one or nothing bringing us down
just the two of us

and after all these years
living in this bubble
someone found a passage inside
he didn't pop it
didn't ask me to leave it
he just softly soared inside with us
filling our bubble with hope, love, and new dreams

i found love again
one like never before
sharing a connection spoken without words
a bond founded deeper than can be concocted
souls united from the heavens
hearts tied together

in this bubble,
growing bigger and brighter
i learn to balance and harmonize
what was once made for 2
now becoming a party of 5

you can say, i've got some adjusting to do...
but please don't burst my bubble


Monday, June 13, 2011

my past is what it is

I am over feeling that my past is something to be ashamed of.
Doesn't everyone have a past?
Why is my past so different than anyone else's?
Why does my past cause so much drama?
Even if my past shows a pattern of behavior,
isn't who I am NOW all that really matters.
My past experiences (good and bad) are part of me.
Does my past make me not worthy to be loved unconditionally?
Does my past make me not trustworthy or reliable?
Does my past scare you because of your own doubts?

I am loyal and devoted to those in my life.
If I commit to you,
I give one hundred percent loyalty and devotion.
I have never shown otherwise.
And to be hurt by my past seems so unfair.
yet it happens
and it happens again
Will I ever live it down?
Will I ever learn to just shut my mouth? But then again, why should I?
Why should I carry the burden to protect your emotions?

I am over being fearful of a reaction about my past.
If I reveal too much, I live in shame, hurt and guilt.
If I omit anything from my past, I live in lies by omission.
It doesn't seem fair, leaving me with little choice.
So instead, I choose ME! This is me, take it or leave it.

I have learned,
you must accept people for who they are.
You'll end up lonely and without love otherwise.
Why is it that we can't all just accept each other for who we are?
and where we came from to get here?
People make mistakes. People won't always live up to your expectations.
People have pasts. People have regrets. People are fallible. People are human.
Love them anyway.

I have also learned,
I am in control of my own feelings.
No one can make me feel guilty or shameful but myself.

I don't want to ever even contemplate the idea of hiding my past.
I don't want to burden myself with lies of omission to spare your feelings.
I don't want ME to be taken away from me because you can't handle it.

Deal with it, I have a past.
P.S. So do you!
And if you can't deal with my past,
then just be a part of it.

Quote by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry:
The arms of love encompass you with your present, your past, your future. The arms of love gather you together.


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