Monday, August 14, 2006

It's a process...

And it's ALL catching up with me. I am completely drained in all the senses. My body is starting to feel sick. I'm tired all the time (even with 8-9 hours of sleep). I eat sufficiently, but probably not enough. But most of all, I am losing my mind. My mind is dull and in desperate need of release. I'm lonely for company. Not the lonely, I need a guy in my life kind. Although a little male company wouldn't hurt either. I meant lonely in a very broad sense. I am in need of adult conversations, mingling and meeting new people, going out for drinks or dinner, going back to my dancing every Wednesday night, or going to the gym everyday. These are the things I miss. These are things I so desperately need! I am actively working on regaining these things in my life. It's hard!

I am still struggling. I still feel pain and sadness inside. But let me be clear on one thing: I'm over the marriage and my soon to be ex-husband. What I am working on is getting through this process. I do not want to sit idly watching life pass me by. I'm working on regaining my life back, with my new addition to it: Mathew. And it's not easy. This process is something I just have to endure. I can't skip ahead. I need to go through this to get to where I am going. But while I endure this process and this time, I will do so with the utmost class and civility, and look goddamn HOT all the while.

Before I go, let me just finish by saying:
I'm not looking for pity or guilt, I'm just here trying to vent and let it all out. I believe, no, actually I know as a matter of fact, that I WILL be better than I would have been!

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