So this weekend, I rode the mechanical bull! It is a sexually provocative ride to say the least. It wasn't about trying to last more than 8 seconds, which I did by the way. It was about the guy behind the joystick making your ass fall to the padded floor after he has toyed with you by gyrating you up and down, side to side, and shaking your ass. And all the meanwhile, another guy with a highbeam flashlight pointing out certain body parts for all to see. After falling several times, I am now left with sore inner thighs, a deep dark purple bruise on my inner left thigh, and a slightly sore left tricep. Besides the aftermath, my experience was exhilarating, left me horny and unfortunately unsatisfied. Here are some highlights:
- After falling to the padded floor and walking away to the exit, the man behind the joystick operated the bull to come from behind me and knock me back down.
- I fell on my back, the second I looked up, I could see the bull between my legs shaking it's head back and forth like a frothing animal in heat.
- I broke the bull's neck...yes I swear! The mechanics had to stop my ride to fix the neck.
- I rode the bull reverse cowgirl style! (didn't last 8 seconds in that position)
- I had a moment of "Look Ma no Hands!" haha
I had so much fun. Pictures were taken of this event. As soon as I get my hands on them, I will post them for ya'll to see. Stay tuned.
Before I go, let me leave you with this:
It seems that I've been saying "there's always next year" my whole life. For those of you that don't know what I am talking about; it's the 1-5 Miami Dolphins record. I feel like a Red Sox fan before 2004. Yuk! Let's just hope we don't have to wait 86 years. So I finish by saying "there's always next year!"