Panic Attack

I couldn't fall asleep last night, which is very unusual for me, seeing that I'm always in bed by 10pm. I don't toss and turn. I just pass out from exhaustion every night. So as usual, my eyes were shutting down around 9:30pm last night in front of the TV. I went upstairs and started to read (it's never usually for too long). The thing was I never got tired again. I was just up reading and reading, then tossing and turning. I was getting a little worried with myself, which eventually lead to a minor panic attack. It didn't help when my son woke up with this screeching cry that bolted me out of bed. I cuddled with him for a while, but my anxiety just got worse from there. I had to leave his room. It went from just a feeling of restlessness to involuntary shaky legs, heart pounding, sweating, and shortness of breath. I think it was around 2am when I realized why this was all happening to me. You know how when you are going on vacation and the night before you can't sleep from all the excitement. Well, the same concept but with anxiety instead of excitement. It never occurred to me that I was anxious about my son leaving to Boston with his dad for a whole week. I was probably suppressing all my fears and worries. And they surely came out last night!! When I realized why I couldn't sleep is when I was finally able to control my anxiety and lull myself to sleep for a few measly hours.

And today is the first day without my son. 6 more days to go!

Before I go to eat lunch, since I'm starting to feel lightheaded, let me leave you with this song:
This song makes me cry every time. I swear this song was written for me.

Artist: Clint Black
Title: The Strong One

When God made woman I wonder sometimes
If it was a flower he had in mind when he made her
A touch as gentle as a butterfly
A kiss so sweet it could stop time forever
God gave man a chance to be the kind of strength a woman needs
He was suppose to be the one to carry that load

CHORUS:
But there she goes
Baby in her arms
World on her shoulder when her day starts
Working a job that don't pay much
but she thanks God it's enough
There she is
on her own two feet
He walked out
but she's still got dreams
Trys to laugh when she feels like crying
Nobody'd blame her if she quit trying
But she's got a heart that gives and gives
Now you tell me who the strong one is

Tonight's the first night in a while
She put on her makeup wearing a smile
She'd going out
And everything was all planned out
but the fever that the baby's got now
It's all shot down
She gives up what she wants to do for what she has to
That's what a momma does
She'll be there like she always is
when the sun comes up

CHORUS AGAIN
And there she is on her own two feet
He walked out but she's still got dreams
Trys to laugh when she feels like crying
Nobody'd blame her if she quit trying
But she got a heart that gives and gives
So you tell me who the strong one is

You tell me who the strong one is.