10. "I could use a hug!"
9. "These pants are starting to feel tight around my waist."
8. "I'm going to Espana!"
7. "I just don't need relationships that require work and drama. I have enough of that in my own life."
6. "It's just me, myself, and Mathew. That's all it's ever got to be."
5. "A true friend stabs you in the front."
4. "I want a man with substance. Do they exist?"
3. "I've been practicing abstinence intentionally."
2. "I might smell, but I don't bite hard."
And the number 1 thing I said today:
"I think I am losing weight in my left foot."
Before I go, let me leave you with this factoid:
The average human has seven sex fantasies in a day. Are you an average human?