Thursday, February 12, 2009

My Pity Party

Enter My Pity Party:

Life is unfair.
Life is just unfair.
There are so many injustices and imbalances in this world.
Ignorance is bliss! Ah….if only…to be ignorant!

Is it fair when the self-absorbed, apathetic, egotistical bastards can fall in a pile of shit and come out smelling like roses?

Or is it really as it seems?
It can’t be.
It just can’t be.

Why do good-hearted, hard working, caring, giving, and honest people (such as myself), have to always fight upstream?

Why does my ex-husband get to buy a 5 bedroom house with a pool with his other family? What did I ever do to deserve this lopsided balance between us? Why does he get the life that rolls so easy? While I’m stuck in an upside down house, I struggle, I bust my ass…and HE…he gets everything he doesn’t deserve. Who am I to judge or to play god…but really? Seriously?! Who did I piss off? What did I do?

Exiting My Pity Party:

What may appear to be lopsided on the outside is really just a disguise, a facade…because we all know it’s what’s inside that really counts. And my insides are awesome!

Through it all, my main solace is my faith. I have faith that things will always come around. I have faith that what you give comes back in return. I have faith that love is all you need and all you need is love. While this world is unfair and cruel at times, I believe we live in a world where there is a balance. I have faith. Maybe during my pity party, I would have called that stupid naïveté.

In an unfair world (yes, it is unfair even outside the pity party) the people who survive are those that can see the beauty around it all. Life is to be appreciated and respected even with all its impurities and defects. You see…because for every flaw, injustice, malicious act, inexplicable event, misunderstood circumstance, or misfortunate, there are thousands more immeasurable moments of beauty, happiness, wonder, grace and love. Those that can appreciate this have great insides…I mean insight to life! You can choose to see the wonderful world around you or dwell in your disasters.

In the big picture, it’s just a house, it doesn’t change anything. I have more than that…so much more! I am truly blessed and I love my life!

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Tonight, Mathew is with his dad and Harley is with my brother.
My house is quiet!
My house is a little too quiet!


kristen said...

material things mean nothing, honey. the things you have mean so much more: self-respect, enlightenment, a firm rooting in reality. don't lament that you don't have riches to walow in b/c that only makes a person more shallow.

Kristina said...

Its the struggles we go through that make us appreciate what we have in front of us. You've made a great life for yourself and mathew, and that happiness has nothing to do with the house you live in, but rather the home. And here's the cliche, home is where the heart is!!

Lars said...

How do you know they can actually afford that house? Are they putting all of their money into a house and not saving a dime? It all comes around...

sefchen Coho said...

I'm with you on this.
I think to my self I'm good people, I took care of my self when I was pregnant, I did everything I thought I was supposed to do and yet my girls are autistic. Then I look at them and I realize that they are perfect and I wouldn't change a thing.


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