Friday, May 25, 2007

Ms. Nancy Sol A.

I changed my mind (see I'm a girl I can do that and I seem to do that a lot lately).

I've been telling everyone that I was keeping my married name (Hughes) for the sake of Mathew and until he got older. Truthfully, I just didn't want to have a different last name from my son. I felt like I would lose my sense of maternity. Silly, I know! But, in the recent weeks, I've come to realize that I really don't want to keep my married name. I don't think I ever wanted to keep his last name and now I realize I really have no need to. My son will always be Mathew Hughes, but he will also always be MY SON. No matter what name I have. I'm not married anymore and so I don't want my married name anymore. Carrying his name has been an oppressive weight on my shoulders. I hate saying my name, typing my name, signing my name, logging in with my name, seeing my's just a constant reminder of his betrayal. I don't need to carry his betrayal around with me. What he did to me has nothing to do with who I am. I need to move forward and not live with the past. I'm done with Mrs. Hughes, I'm taking back Ms. A. As soon I get the official divorce papers, I will start the painstaking process of changing my name on ALL my documents back to Ms. Nancy A.

And no, the divorce is not finalized yet! Trust me, you will all know as soon as I know. It should not be much longer.

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
My name is Nancy, not Nance.
My son's name is Mathew with ONE "T." It's not Matt, Matty, or Hank.

Have you ever asked your friend Daniel if he prefers Daniel or Dan or Danny? Did you consider that Lawrence might prefer Lawrence despite everyone calling him Larry? Why is an extra syllable (or two) such a difficulty when calling people by their names? And why do parents add the sound "eeeee" to their child's name like Marky, Mikey, Danny, Matty, Lizzie, Sammy. YUK! Why do we feel the need to alter, abbreviate, or mutilate our original names?

I'm all about the original names. The originals are best: Jonathon, William, Daniel, Lawrence, Jacob, Michael, Joshua, Anthony, Christopher, Jessica, Jennifer, Angela, Emily, Isabella, Melissa, Samantha, Alicia...

And come to think of it the original everything is always better: the original movie, the original flavor, the original store, the original song, the original pancake house...LOL.

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