Two dates in one weekend just re-confirmed that I don't like dating, especially online dating. While most people would concur that dating sucks, I think it sucks more than just sucks when it's online!
Meeting people on the premise that you are solely trying to see if you are a harmonious couple is just too much damn pressure. It’s just not normal. Ugh! I found no bubbly excitement in the matching and guided communication process. The personal emails were not much different…more like ‘okay so when do we get on with it and meet.’ And then you meet…hit or miss! I assume it’s a miss more times than not. So the worst part of online dating is the "break-up" talk when there was nothing there to begin with. What are you ending anyway? But you still have to do it! So tell me where in this process is there any fun?! I’ve been told to have fun and enjoy dating…how? I just don’t know how. How do you have fun telling a great man that you don't feel any chemistry there because you lack physical attraction?! How do you enjoy rejecting a decent human being who is just trying to find a partner in life just like I am?! Am I too empathetic? Or maybe I’m too naive? Either way, I’m not sure this is for me. I have 5 more months on this damn thing...and I really dread having to go through this again. There’s got to be a better way.
For every day that goes by, the more I don't WANT a man in my life.
Moral of the story, I love being single…leave me alone!
Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Current temperature in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida: 54.5 °F
Today's online news header: Temps may dip below freezing tonight
Are you kidding me? It’s cold enough now…why does it have to get any colder? This morning, I was too embarrassed to put on my winter coat (in fear of looking foolish in South Florida). Apparently, I will be wearing it tomorrow without need for embarrassment. I just read this: “It'll be so cold tomorrow morning that a lot of people will need their credit card. The credit card will be used to scrape the frost off of vehicle windows as most areas of Palm Beach and Broward will see a heavy frost.”
Seriously!? I live in South Florida for a reason…the sun and the warmth!!!!
Bring back the warmth!!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
Mathew Lines
Mathew absorbs everything he hears; conversations, books, tv, movies, and mostly me. I hear/see myself in him. It's unbelievable how much of an adult he can sound sometimes. Here are some lines he's picked up. They are definitely not as cute or funny in text as they are when he says them to me.
I love you sooooo much (with a cutesy voice)
So, did you have a fun day at work?
I'm going to protect you
You're my best friend
mama, that was so nice
mama, I cried for you today.
you hurt my feelings, i'm sad.
good job mama
that was nice sharing with me mama
calm down, mama
it's okay mama
you forgot something mama...my kiss!
i need more huggins and luvin!
i sorry; it was an accident
be quiet mama
maybe we can go to the park today
don't yell at me like that
i am a good boy
if i'm not a good boy, i get nothing
you're so proud of me
you're my sweetheart, mama!
his nicknames for me (that he heard me use): mamasita and chica
you should also see how he puts his animals in time out...he sounds exactly like me!! He uses the same methods and words for time out. Essentially, I get to see how I treat him through his eyes...so fascinating! I learn so much from him.
and yesterday's line was the greatest: we were leaving school and I told him to say good bye to his friends. he told his one friend olivia; "thank you for playing with me today, olivia" Aww....isn't he the sweetest?
Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Is it possible to love a second child as much as you love your first?
I won't know until I have another child, but I assume it is extremely possible and probably totally amazing. It's just hard to imagine or fathom the idea of duplicating this kind of love to another little being. Wow! I'm so ready for a second child. I'm going to give this dating thing a few more years before I seek out adoption on the solo.
I love you sooooo much (with a cutesy voice)
So, did you have a fun day at work?
I'm going to protect you
You're my best friend
mama, that was so nice
mama, I cried for you today.
you hurt my feelings, i'm sad.
good job mama
that was nice sharing with me mama
calm down, mama
it's okay mama
you forgot something mama...my kiss!
i need more huggins and luvin!
i sorry; it was an accident
be quiet mama
maybe we can go to the park today
don't yell at me like that
i am a good boy
if i'm not a good boy, i get nothing
you're so proud of me
you're my sweetheart, mama!
his nicknames for me (that he heard me use): mamasita and chica
you should also see how he puts his animals in time out...he sounds exactly like me!! He uses the same methods and words for time out. Essentially, I get to see how I treat him through his eyes...so fascinating! I learn so much from him.
and yesterday's line was the greatest: we were leaving school and I told him to say good bye to his friends. he told his one friend olivia; "thank you for playing with me today, olivia" Aww....isn't he the sweetest?
Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Is it possible to love a second child as much as you love your first?
I won't know until I have another child, but I assume it is extremely possible and probably totally amazing. It's just hard to imagine or fathom the idea of duplicating this kind of love to another little being. Wow! I'm so ready for a second child. I'm going to give this dating thing a few more years before I seek out adoption on the solo.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
imagine
poem from 8/21/06
from yours truly
imagine
as i sit on your lap, you whisper your thoughts to me
your lips accidentally touch my ears
sending shivers down my spine
i feel your warm breath on my neck
making my eyes flutter in ecstasy
imagine
as i sit in the passenger seat, you tell me this and that
you smile and laugh
then your hand reaches over to my knee
sending me to heavenly bliss
making me feel like jello
imagine
as we sit on a blanket, we watch the sun set
your arms around me from behind
comforts my heart and soul
you can’t help but lean in
and we are now cheek to cheek
imagine
as we lay in bed, glowing in delight
i search for your eyes
to dive into your soul and open your heart
i am met with a stare
of your longing for me
imagine
as we playfully walk the beach, hand in hand
you squeeze in excitement
causing my body to tremble
our days filled with simple delight
igniting a kid-like smile
i long for your touch
yearn for your smile
hunger for your thoughts
crave for your voice to be near
imagine when I am there
~sol
from yours truly
imagine
as i sit on your lap, you whisper your thoughts to me
your lips accidentally touch my ears
sending shivers down my spine
i feel your warm breath on my neck
making my eyes flutter in ecstasy
imagine
as i sit in the passenger seat, you tell me this and that
you smile and laugh
then your hand reaches over to my knee
sending me to heavenly bliss
making me feel like jello
imagine
as we sit on a blanket, we watch the sun set
your arms around me from behind
comforts my heart and soul
you can’t help but lean in
and we are now cheek to cheek
imagine
as we lay in bed, glowing in delight
i search for your eyes
to dive into your soul and open your heart
i am met with a stare
of your longing for me
imagine
as we playfully walk the beach, hand in hand
you squeeze in excitement
causing my body to tremble
our days filled with simple delight
igniting a kid-like smile
i long for your touch
yearn for your smile
hunger for your thoughts
crave for your voice to be near
imagine when I am there
~sol
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