Letter to Robin

Dear Robin,

I regret not spending more time with you
I always thought there’d be a next time...

I regret not appreciating you more
I took you for granted…

I regret not calling you every time I thought to
I always thought we’d just talk later…

I regret not being there for you or doing more for you
I figured you didn’t need me, not realizing I needed you…

I regret not taking more pictures together
I always thought there'd be another occasion...

I regret criticizing you for not having ambition
I never thought I’d have to regret those words…I realize now you lived ambitiously in the moment and I lived ambitiously in the planning. Neither were wrong, we were just both different. I admire the life you led and will remember to live passionately in the now, like you. I wish I learned that when you were here with me rather than because you’re gone.

I regret not giving you a hug or taking the time with you at the gas station when we last saw each other. I was in such a rush to get home…I never thought it would be the last time I’d see you. I know we hugged and kissed 10 minutes before that at the restaurant…

I wish we had more time together…
I wish Mathew had more time with you…
I wish you were the one giving him the life lessons of “mental toughness” like you did for me.

I hate that I can’t hug you anymore.
I’m scared that I will forget your voice and the sound of your laughter.
I have yet to see you in my dreams, but I know you are always with me…

I miss you so much Robin!
Know that you are always on my mind!
Please watch over us…we need you still!

Oh and by the way, I’m getting this awesome new tattoo on Tuesday right before I visit you again for the one month services. I can’t wait for you to see it! It will honor you and your beautiful life. It will remind me that you’re always watching over us. It will be a constant expression of your life, my lessons learned from you and a reminder to live life more like you did…you will always be a part of me, Robin. I promise you will live on through me...

I love you!
Your one and only sister,
Nancy