Monday, April 11, 2011

dare to live in absolute vulnerability

1. capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.
2. open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.
3. (of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend: a vulnerable bridge.

I say, dare to live in absolute vulnerability.

By definition, the word 'vulnerable' gives off a pungent odor of weakness and frailty. Why in the hell would we want to open ourselves up for pain or hurt? What a tricky game you play, Mr. Vulnerability?! On one hand, you smell of fear; a world of potential hurt and pain. On the other hand, you smell of free-spirit; a world of risks, adventure and living life to the fullest. Mr. Vulnerability, why do you play so unfair?!

It seems that we learn at a very young age to protect our hearts from pain and hurt. We build a security system around our hearts after being made fun of for being different, after asking a question and being laughed at, after falling in love and getting our hearts broken. Our security walls build higher the stronger we let our insecurities grow. And over time, it's easy to lose ourselves in these walls, living in safety and without hurt. We become complacent in a squared-shaped world with boring beige colored walls.

"I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive." To live in absolute vulnerability is; to be exposed without any shields, to open your heart to let love in, to risk failure at the expense of greatness. To live in a world with no walls is to believe in yourself in spite of your differences or broken hearts. It is in a life of vulnerability, you will find strength and courage to dream, achieve, live happily, and to love all the way.

So I say, bring it on Mr. Vulnerability. I welcome you into my world. I welcome even the hurt you may bring into my world. I will take a chance for you to see me, the real me, all of me. 'Cause in the end, I want to live life to the fullest, in the now! And if I should fail, it will not be wasted, for I shall never lose myself again in those safely guarded beige walls.

"Only a person who risks is free"

I am free.


SunMoonStar said...

What a lovely post. I'm with you, lets be vulnerable together, maybe it'll be less scary.

You are so awesome, I hope you know that. I admire the way you put yourself out there. Its so hard for me, but I'm trying.
Although we struggle with totally different things, we'll get through and be better people in the end. After all its about living life for the moment, and each moment can be better than the last.

septembermom said...

Beautifully expressed. I feel most human when I let myself be vulnerable. I tend to do that by myself though. As mom, I forget to let anyone see that vulnerability. I wish that I felt more ready to do it. I think that I find the blog to be a safe place to show that vulnerable side.

Barbara Todish said...

It is getting to be harder and harder to even allow yourself to BE vulnerable.Have you noticed that even when you laugh at something that you INTUITIVELY and INSTINCTUALLY feel is funny, that people will JUDGE YOU! I noticed this because I do stand up comedy and I ALWAYS seem to be the first to laugh anymore at CERTAIN jokes! AFTER I laugh then it seems others laugh but it seems that almost everyone is AFRAID to be the first person to laugh! So it is getting harder and harder for a comedian todiay to get laughter, and I believe it is because we are alal so afraid of people JUDGING what we are laughing about, i.e., there is so much that is politicall incorrect we hardly are in touch with our real INSTINCTUAL and INTUITIVE emotions so it is hard to AUTHENTICALLY TRUST our own INSTINCTS and INTUITIONS TO LAUGH! I believe because I have ALLOWED myself to be EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE for a long time, I AM ABLE to TRUST my instincts and my intuitions about what is truly funny. In other words,I TRUST that I will only laugh, namely that I only ALLOW myself, guided by my instincts and intuition, TO laugh if there is a communication that involves SURPRIZE as opposed to laughing when there is bullying, ie any power imbalance involved in what is being communicated.

Barbara Todish said...

I posted without editing lol,
so here are my edits, after the fact, just in case it helps clarify my, I hope, humor. (I may be unfunny the 2nd time around though, so I will try to add more humor. (Note 2 self & others: I IMHO, said try, lol.)
It is getting 2 B more difficult (changed from "harder", because some people might take that(the word "harder") as a sexual connotation lol) today (or yesterday or tomorrow 2) 2 MOTIVATE an audience to trust their OWN instincts and intuitions, because so many people are afraid 2 b themselves, ie b vulnerable. Instead so many people wnat 2 B sure that they LAUGH "appropriately"! Maybe they are afraid of being sued for politically incorrect laughter- it may only b a matter of time B 4 that is a new "law" on "the books"! It seems that except 4 those who risk to B vulnerable like me and hopefully U who R writing and reading @ and R supporters of emotional vulnerability most of us are so afraid of people judging what we are laughing about, i.e., there is so much that is deemed, or generally considered 2 B politically incorrect, that we have almost EXCHANGED our intuitions and our instincts for EXTERNAL approval! I GIVE MYSELF the approval 2 laugh WHENEVER my instincts and intuition MOVE ME 2 laugh. I say 2 myself: "Who cares if others JUDGE me, because I prefer 2 laugh and it is good 4 my health (more oxygen) and my digestion 2 (also more oxygen intake!

Barbara Todish said...

So many people WANT 2 B sure they laugh (and even spell lol) appropriately!


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