Sleepless in Florida

My ex-husband is having a shotgun courthouse wedding with his eight month pregnant girlfriend. "Two wrongs don't make a right." That's what my ex used to say about others in this exact situation. How did he get himself into this? How come it just feels like it is progressively getting worse? What bothers me most is that he's dragging our son through his mess. He doesn't even worry about the image, the example he is setting for his son. I pray all of this will have very little negative impact on Mathew. Unfortunately, my son is already being affected by it…

Mathew is acting out in school on days after he spends the night at his dad's house. Why? This has been boggling my mind all night…and I can't eat…I can't sleep…Why would Mathew be acting out? He's a happy, loving boy. I have no idea what is going on inside of him. I don't know what he is going through. I don't even know what it's like for him in his dad's house. I can sit here and type a hundred and one theories and assumptions, but ultimately, it is out of my control. I've talked to his dad, I've given him advice, I've shared ideas to help Mathew adjust to the change…All I can do is what I've been doing…and right now that just doesn't seem enough. I feel helpless and again I'm worried for my little booger, Mathew.

Here's another time in my life where I wish I just had a crystal ball and can see into the future…so I can either stop worrying because I see everything is going to be alright…or so I can know what to do to make everything be alright. I feel anxious, helpless, worrisome, nervous, curious, and simply sad by all of this. My mind is in overdrive, which only means my body doesn't get its beauty sleep!!

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
On top of all of the above, I'm consumed with work… I love the challenge, I love the work, and I love my boss. But again, my mind is crammed with to-do lists, projects, reports, systems, databases, quality control, roadblocks, hiring, monitoring, numbers, expectations, etc. Can you say mind overload?

I need another vacation…lol!

I Believe

I Believe

There was a day not too long ago,
That I was a cynic
My heart jaded
I lost my faith in good men and true love.

There was a time not so far away
I said never again
Not in my house
Never more than just the two of us

There was a day not so far in my distant past
I was happy
Single
Empowered
Independent

And now that I have met you…

Today,
I am full of hope
My heart is renewed
My faith is restored

Today,
I am saying now,
Always
And forever
In my house, the three of us
a family

Today,
I am still happy
Empowered
Independent
The difference now is…
I'm in love…

And you are my reason to believe.

~sol


Before I go, let me leave you with this:
What do you believe in with 100% certainty, no hesitation, no doubt in your mind?

Time

Time
Can I buy some time?
Do you have time to spare?
Is there enough time?
Will I run out of time?
Can I make some time?
Are times a changing?
Is time just a concept?
Am I wasting time?
Will I get my time?
Does time really matter?
Is the time now?
Am I in the knick of time?
Is there a time for everything?

Or
Am I just killing time here?

~sol

Before I got, let me ask you a serious question for you to ponder:
What sustains you on the inside when all else falls away?

Meetings

Here is the result of my productive meeting:

**place image here**

What do you think?

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
I have to work this weekend…yuk! The good news is…I don't know the good news…

Mixed Nuts

I'm a bag of mixed nuts:

Pistachio
Sorry
Disappointed
Peanuts
Hurt
Frustrated
Cashews
Hopeful
Giving
Raisins
Excited
Smiling
M&Ms
Happy
Loving
Mixed Nuts

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
It's almost five o'clock…time to celebrate! I am so ready for a drink!!

Not 31 yet

Why does my blog page say I'm 31? I'm not 31 yet...I have four more days to go!

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
When I blow out my birthday candles or a loose eyelash, toss a penny in a well, see that clock at 10:10 (yes, I wish at 10:10, not 11:11), I always wish for peace on earth, and health and happiness to my loved ones!

Two

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY MATHEW!!

You are my sunshine!

I love you!

Mom

Before I go, let me leave you with this question:
What do you wish for when you blow out your birthday candles?

The Kiss

The Kiss

Two beautiful souls, worlds apart
A connection that their hearts can't ignore
A warmth and love they both been longing for
At last they meet face to face

Sitting their in silence, a comforting cue
Their bodies naturally invite themselves closer
His hands gently holding the sides of her face
Their noses dancing cheek to cheek

Their lips meet briefly and softly for the first time
She can hear the silent sounds of angels' wings
As if a piece of heaven fell from the sky
This enchanted moment released in slow motion

Their lips trickle apart with gentle smiles remaining
They linger closely to savor it all
Eyelids and hearts fluttering in the warmest embrace
Neither wanting it to ever end

Just a simple kiss, a kiss that said it all.

~ sol

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
I read an article posted in the Associated Press that said a Principal of a middle school in suburban Chicago banned hugging anywhere inside the building. The Principal said students were forming "hug lines" that made them late for classes and crowded the hallways. "Hugging is really more appropriate for airports or for family reunions than passing and seeing each other every few minutes in the halls." What is wrong with this lady? And what is our country coming to when kids aren't allowed to hug? What a sad world we live in today…

My Day

Ever have one of those days when:

You wake up too early, the sun is hiding and the sky is angry, yet the simple sound of your child's voice brightens your morning.

You turn on the machine and through all the junk you uncover the sweet words in black and white that keeps you smiling all day.

You are completely overloaded, the problems are never ending, the whiteboard no longer seems white, yet you feel like nothing can get in your way.

You're so busy at work, lunch is not an option (nor is racquetball), the pile doesn't seem to shrink yet you feel totally accomplished.

Expectations shift, you're hesitant about yourself, yet you keep moving forward and you realize just how capable you are.

You're jaded heart is alone and bruised, your walls are still high wrapped in barbed wire, yet there's a glow in your heart burning to give hope a chance to float up.

That was my day! How was yours?

~sol

Before I go, let me leave you with this:
Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
Mama's knees can't take the pain