Conversation with a 7-year old boy

My son goes to the Jewish Community Center (JCC) for summer camp and after-school programs. The JCC enriches him with the traditions and religious beliefs of the Jews (among many other non-religious things). I think it's important for him to know where part of his family came from. So I'm really happy that he is learning so much about the culture and beliefs of the Jews, my family's heritage. But I also think it's extremely important to question everything. And well, Mathew surely does.

So today, after I picked him up from the JCC, we had another one of those conversations that I want to document for the books.

He asks me: "Why do Jewish and Christian people have so many rules? Why can't they be free, not trapped in a cage or stuck by rules. It's not fair." Verbatim.

I smile, and explain to him that each person has a choice. And by choosing a certain religion and its rules, they are free because they have made a choice. I gave him the example of my sister-in-law, his aunt and explained her choices were of her own free will. She is not trapped in a cage in her view. Have you thought of it that way? Mathew said no.

I continued to elaborate to him that you yourself have made a choice by thinking these rules trap you in a cage and therefore you are free for making that choice.

When I asked him why does he feel that way about the rules. He compared the religion rules to being like slaves in a cage. He believes the rules are so conforming that they make him feel trapped, like a slave. Wow! I am not making this up people.

Of course, being the balanced, non-persuasive parent (that I try really hard to be): I told him he had the right to feel that way, but he should ALWAYS respect what other people believe even if you don't agree. Everyone has the right to their own opinion, beliefs, and feelings. I emphasized that you cannot take these things away from people, nor can anyone take them away from you.

What I wanted to say: I agree with your sentiments 100%.

I'm so proud of my son for thinking on his own, for engaging in these thoughts and ideas and nurturing them into his own beliefs (not pressured or coerced by anyone, including me).

Again, my son continues to amaze me!



To close:
I understand this blog might get some people upset, especially some family members. I urge those people who get upset or offended by this to remember the lesson I tried to teach my 7-year old son today: we each have the right to our opinions, feelings, and thoughts, even if they don't coincide with yours. You are free to share your thoughts, but I will state upfront I do not welcome rude or condescending comments. Thank you for understanding that I am trying to raise my son to think for himself and to choose for himself. I'd like to think I'm on the right track!

i couldn't really tell

i couldn't really tell

the birds sing and chirp
and sing marvelous songs,
but i'm sure they said something
but i couldn't really tell

the bears growl and groan
and hibernate for the winter
but i'm sure they said something,
but i couldn't really tell

snakes slither and hiss
and climb trees,
but i'm positive they said something,
but i couldn't really tell

~the end
poem by my 7 year old son, Mathew

to me, this poem is amazing. maybe i'm biased. but i don't care. i love it.
i am so happy that all those nights of reading shel silverstein has inspired him.
i'm such a proud mama!

baby daddy

my advice to all the mothers-yet-to-be:

don't worry about finding the perfect man or the man of your dreams.
worry more about finding the perfect father for your child or the dad of your dreams for your child.

Imagine this:
That moment when you see your ex for the first time after a break up. Knots in your stomach, sweaty palms, heart surging...what do you say? do you say hi or pretend you never saw him? do you say hi and act with no care in the world? With each encounter, the ex slowly fades away and the knots loosen up, the palms cool off, and the heart beats calmer. Before you know it, he's just a blip in your life map.  an ex is just an ex.

NOW Imagine this:
That same moment above; over and over and over again....for the life of your child. No matter the congeniality of the break-up...you still get the knots, sweat and surge for each, expected visit from your baby daddy. And you ask yourself: how did you ever end up with that guy? What were you thinking when you married him? How could you make a baby with that guy? Really? Seriously? Ewwww?!?!

dear mothers-yet-to-be:
please choose your baby daddy wisely
"an ex is just an ex, but a baby daddy is for life" - my quote

i urge you to ask yourself: is this the man i want to be as my ex AND my baby daddy? you know, would he be the ex husband that is an exceptional parent nonetheless? this is an important question to ask when dating.

Seek a perfect father and dad of your dreams for your child.
Your child and your future ex-self will thank you!

from personal experience,
a single mother (but not for long. cause i met the perfect father, the dad of my dreams for my child)

i'm surrounded by idiots

work is the only place that makes me question my perception of reality. i understand we all have different perceptions of reality. it's normal, it's healthy. but for the most part, we understand and realize our perceptions can be skewed. reality is skewed by experiences, emotions, and/or personalities. or is reality just that, perceptions?

for me, at work, i constantly question my perceptions. am i the only one that sees the things i see? am i the only one that feels the things i feel? is it just me? i'm clearly not going to write the details about my job on a public blog post. but what i can say is that my work environment makes me question myself...AND those that surround me. i feel so alone at work.

so to make myself feel better, i have purchased a button for my desk. the button is very much like the "easy button" from staples. except this button says in scar's voice from the lion king "i'm surrounded by idiots."

maybe it's not perceptions, it's just the people. or maybe my reality just sucks and i'm the idiot.

either way, i'm going to embrace my perception: "i''m surrounded by idiots"
and that i'm a true genius...
as it is said by jonathan swift:

when a true genius appears in the world,

you may know him by the sign, that the dunces

are all in confederacy against him