Bear

Our family dog, Bear, passed away late last night from a turned over stomach. He was a gentle giant. He was so caring and loving and sweet. He was vocal, but not annoying vocal, more like I'm talking to you or singing with you kinda vocal (okay maybe sometimes annoying). He was always in the way just cause he always wanted to be a part of everything. He was always stepping on our toes and jumping on our shoulders. He went bezerk when we clapped. He knew before I even pulled into the driveway, that we were there. He was amazing! And his love for Mathew was infinite!

Mathew and Bear were best buddies. They loved playing together, running around the house, hugging, hiding, and laughing. Bear was always so perfectly kind to him, considering Bear was close to 100 pounds. Bear was his ultimate bodyguard. If you picked Mathew up for a hug, you were bound to get jumped on by Bear. "Let him go!" Or if you tickled Mathew or chased after Mathew, Bear would bark at you! "Stop it!" One time, Bear cornered me against the wall to protect Mathew. I could not get passed Bear and I seriously tried. You had to be there to see it. We all knew Bear's love for Mathew was unique and immeasurable! And I know the feeling was the same in reverse. That's why telling Mathew is going to break my heart in a little million pieces.

I already feel guilty for lying to Mathew this morning. I told him that Bear is sick and at the vet's office. I figured slowly peeling the bandaid off is better than ripping it off. Ironically, I told Mathew a couple days ago to just rip the bandaid off (literally). So why am I "setting" him up with this lie? Should I have told him in one shot? I know I have to tell him the final truth before Sunday. We visit the family every Sunday. And this Sunday, Bear won't be there! The house will be empty without the maniac dog. It will be too quiet without him speaking to us. No dog to step on our toes or give us bear hugs. And mostly, Mathew will no longer have his friend or his bodyguard.

This is all just too much. We already lost our own dog, Harley, then my brother Robin, and now Bear. A little kid shouldn't have to deal with so much loss. I pray Mathew's big heart will be strong enough for all of it!