confession of a mother

on mother's day 2014, i'd like to make a confession. here it goes.
i hate mother's day.
there i said it.

yes, i'm a mother of an 8 year old boy and a step mother to 7 and 10 year old boys.

i don't want only this day to tell me i'm the best mom.
i don't want flowers or gifts because the calendar tells you to buy it for me.
i don't need the pressure of having to do the same for all the mother's i know.
i can't go to my favorite restaurant anyway, it's a two hour wait.
i have to spend my day celebrating motherhood, without my two step sons.
i have to share this day with my mother and mother-in-law (no offense moms).

so why is this day so special? it just isn't. and it shouldn't be.

maybe i'm just lucky to have a family that shares their love and appreciation regularly.
maybe i'm just throwing a pity party for a day that i know will not be my own.
maybe it's the disappointments from the years long ago.
maybe it just pisses me off how it's another business holiday, not filled with true sentiments.

either way, i would prefer if this holiday just didn't exist.

i want everyday to feel like i'm a great mom,
because i'm a mom everyday for the rest of my life.
i want to feel like a great mom even on days i suck at it. those are the days i need it most.
i want drawings and flowers on random days. this is so much more specialer.
i want hugs everyday. period.
LUCKY ME, i do.
i am the luckiest mom in the world.


so to all the mother's out there:
happy mother's day, everyday but this one!
you are more special than just on today.